Remember that ad? No fear? What a dumb fucking ad. Of course we need fear, if it weren’t for fear most of us would be blind or without limbs.
That being said, the older I get, the more I realize that MOST of my regrets in life have to do with being afraid.
They run the span of my years…from not standing up to Beth Blessing when she hit my little sister to me working a job that I
dislike because I’m afraid to try something else.
A few regrets MIGHT be about the times I’ve been mean. Believe or not, that hasn’t happened often. But the times it did, I completely regret. This is not about those times, though. This is about fear.
As I said, I am recognizing this fear and deciding every day to not give in to it. Sure, maybe I haven’t taken steps to leave my job but hubs and I are starting to make plans. In 3 years we will find ourselves childless for the first time in our relationship and we are going to take full advantage of that. I don’t know HOW I’m going to change yet, but I know that I will.
Speaking of no kids, we have the house to ourselves right now which is something that rarely happens. I chose to use the time wisely by staying in bed and playing on the internet while watching trashy movies.
While scrolling through Etsy, I came across a vintage picture of Alice In Wonderland that jarred me.
When I was a kid, we had an older version of Alice in Wonderland and the illustrations are fucking disturbing or at least they were to me when I was a kid. There were a few that I particularly disliked. My least favorite one was the one of Alice stretching upward…her neck is long and she stands so prim..creepy. Secondly, the one of Alice cradling the baby pig wearing a bonnet. The one I saw today was the one where Alice had grown large and was crammed into a house.
Randy and I have some black and white prints in our living room. Bird silhouettes. I like the birds, but it’s time for something new. We discussed a variety of options, but after seeing these images on Etsy, the decision was pretty much made. I want these images that disturbed me as a child in my living room. Every day, I will see them and I will be reminded that I don’t have to be afraid. I don’t have to be afraid to try new things. I don’t have to be afraid of change. I especially don’t have to be afraid of what I cannot control. I was afraid enough as a child. I did my time already.
Alice will make a nice addition to our family.
Alice is my favorite of Disney characters. Solely due to the fact that she does this without needing a man to come ‘save’ her. All the original Grimm’s tales are horribly scary for young people. Maybe that’s why they were all changed. I cannot imagine being read the original Red Riding Hood before bed and not waking with extreme nightmares.
Yes! Alice is definitely a bad ass. And yes, Grimm was…grim.
I still wouldn’t frame photos of spiders, clowns or Brian Dennehy in my living room
Your decision not to stand up to Beth Blessing has profoundly affected the quality of my life. I live in constant fear that I am on my own when things get tough. The resultant problems with intimacy is probably the reason my marriage failed. Or…it could be that I don’t even remember the incident.
I’m with you on this one. My biggest regrets are related to letting fear hold me back or waste my time. I may not have this exactly right, but I like this Mark Twain quote, “I’ve been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
I prefer the redneck version: “Ain’t skeered”
& I contemplate prophecy every time I look at the print hanging in my living room: a semi-abstract big black horse churning along in high gait. I bought it as my “early 2nd wedding present to myself”; 2 yrs later we added Champ, the living embodiment of that print, to our lives! Probably not the least bit coincidental to anyone else – after all, if you keep adding equines, the odds are that one of ’em will eventually be solid black & gaited, huh?