It’s No Wonder I Get Headaches

So, I said before that I hurt my back a few weekends ago.

I had a follow up visit with my doctor. Like, in his office.

All my other visits with him for the last year have been video visits. It was weird, but I didn’t hate it. I had to wear a bra though. That sucked. I mean, I guess I didn’t have to, but we all know what we get when decorum flies out the window.

Anyway, it was a good visit.

I got to see my x-rays, which is cool. I like reading my x-rays. I’m good at it.

For instance, one time I got my MRI results on a CD. I immediately could tell why my shoulder hurt so bad.

I had a duck in my shoulder.

There was a definite outline of a duck. I think it explains a lot, but not as much as the x-ray I saw last week.

My doctor was in full on hazmat gear and a face shield. I double masked. I felt pretty safe. I stood behind him and looked over his shoulder.

Me: There’s a skull in my picture.skull

Doc: Well, it is an x-ray of your head and neck.

Me:…

Me: I am aware. I mean there’s a little skull, right there on my jawbone. At the joint.

Doc:…

Me: See? The eyes and the nose. Then the jaw looks like it unhinged and stretched out. Terrifying really.

Doc: I do see it. You ate your twin.

Me: I’m glad. That thing is terrifying. Best to have the twin whose jaw doesn’t unhinge.

Doc: You don’t know. Maybe she would have been nice.

Me: It explains why I get headaches.

Doc: There’s a lot of arthritis at disk C7 at the bottom of your neck. I think this is contributing to your back pain.

Me: I blame my twin.

So, I have to do a bunch of heat therapy and stretching.

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating, getting old is not for wussies.

On the plus side, Randy got his first shot last week and I get my first one on Friday.

I can’t wait. but it’s kind of fucking with me. Like that part in a movie where the character finally gets what they want and BAM, they get hit by a bus.

Okay, maybe not a part in a movie. I know of no such movie scene. But you know what I mean.

This is no time for a COVID 19th nervous breakdown.

I hope you all are staying safe.

There’s a glimmer of hope.

Look both ways before you cross the street, okay?

 

Photo by Chait Goli from Pexels

 

 

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15 comments

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  • Eating your twin might explain the mood swings.
    Stay out of hospitals at all costs if possible!
    Great news about your shots!

  • I love reading your take on things Michelle. And I hope your back and headaches get back to normal

  • Congratulations on getting scheduled for your shots and to Randy for getting his first one. Just think: soon there will be a time when you can take Randy out in public and tell people honestly, “He’s had all his shots.”
    Yeah, I’m looking forward to making jokes about that.
    And the skull in your shoulder is brilliant but I think getting your MRI results on CD must have been cool too. What did they sound like? I’m guessing Goo Goo Muck by The Cramps, but with quacking.

  • I’ve been doing my doctor appointments over the phone. Except for the labs, which I had to go to Quest Diagnostics for. They all came back normal, which is nice as two of them were cancer screens.
    They told my mom that she had an atrophied disc that was causing her migraines but it turned out she had a brain tumor. Good doctors are important.
    I saw a video yesterday of interesting x-rays, most of which were horrifying, but a few were hilarious.
    This was a good damn week. No two ways about it. Merrick Garland was confirmed, the relief bill passed, and the tamale ladies were at the shopping center again.
    Winston, who lives a ways up the hill from us, said he wanted some tamales, so we bought the last 18 they had and gave him 6.
    He came by to pick them up after he got off of work, and brought us some beers. So I drank the first beer I’ve had since 2008. It was OK. It was a Corona, which I’m not sure whether was intended as a joke, or perhaps he gets a deal on them at the hotel he works for. I’m leaning toward the latter on that.
    It reminded me of working as the evening cook at the Buttercup, when Meredith, my manager, would have a sixer of Corona in my ‘fridge already when I came in.
    Hope.
    Yup.
    Cautious optimism?
    You bet.
    Eternal vigilance against the bastards who still want to tear us all down?
    Same as it ever was.
    Hang in there, we might just make it.

  • Sorry about the arthritis – getting old sucks. But then so does the alternative. Just so you’re prepared, I had a panic attack on the way home from my first shot. But other than that, it was fine. You’ll do fine – just be ready for your head to play games with you.

    • I’m not worried about the shot. I just can’t wait until tomorrow. I can’t wait.

      Still gonna be a while before I’m comfortable around the other humans, though. I am not looking forward to going back to the office.

By Michelle

Michelle

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