So, I said before that I hurt my back a few weekends ago.
I had a follow up visit with my doctor. Like, in his office.
All my other visits with him for the last year have been video visits. It was weird, but I didn’t hate it. I had to wear a bra though. That sucked. I mean, I guess I didn’t have to, but we all know what we get when decorum flies out the window.
Anyway, it was a good visit.
I got to see my x-rays, which is cool. I like reading my x-rays. I’m good at it.
For instance, one time I got my MRI results on a CD. I immediately could tell why my shoulder hurt so bad.
I had a duck in my shoulder.
There was a definite outline of a duck. I think it explains a lot, but not as much as the x-ray I saw last week.
My doctor was in full on hazmat gear and a face shield. I double masked. I felt pretty safe. I stood behind him and looked over his shoulder.
Me: There’s a skull in my picture.
Doc: Well, it is an x-ray of your head and neck.
Me: I am aware. I mean there’s a little skull, right there on my jawbone. At the joint.
Me: See? The eyes and the nose. Then the jaw looks like it unhinged and stretched out. Terrifying really.
Doc: I do see it. You ate your twin.
Me: I’m glad. That thing is terrifying. Best to have the twin whose jaw doesn’t unhinge.
Doc: You don’t know. Maybe she would have been nice.
Me: It explains why I get headaches.
Doc: There’s a lot of arthritis at disk C7 at the bottom of your neck. I think this is contributing to your back pain.
Me: I blame my twin.
So, I have to do a bunch of heat therapy and stretching.
I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating, getting old is not for wussies.
On the plus side, Randy got his first shot last week and I get my first one on Friday.
I can’t wait. but it’s kind of fucking with me. Like that part in a movie where the character finally gets what they want and BAM, they get hit by a bus.
Okay, maybe not a part in a movie. I know of no such movie scene. But you know what I mean.
This is no time for a COVID 19th nervous breakdown.
I hope you all are staying safe.
There’s a glimmer of hope.
Look both ways before you cross the street, okay?