Seriously, you guys, I’m not taking aging seriously enough.
I’m going to be 58 next month and I just now got around to dying my hair a funky color. I am so behind. I should have done this a few years ago.
My stepdaughter told me about this hair conditioner that adds subtle color to your hair. I bought platinum and purple.
I started with the platinum. I thought the platinum would make my gray whiter and I’d have this cool sort of bride of Frankenstein thing going on.
It didn’t turn out that way, though. Mostly, the gray lightened up a little, but my hair looked more sad. Like it was gray but holding a sparkler that was just about to die out. Not the big sparklers, the little shitty sparklers.
I decided to try the purple.
I love the purple. The purple makes my hair a little darker and my gray is shades of purple ranging from a gray lavender to Paisley Park. I think I might be a unicorn now.
I mean, if the unicorn is also the Crypt Keeper.
I don’t wear makeup anymore. I never want to stop wearing pajamas. I’m basically a cave dweller at this point, so I don’t know why having purple hair means anything at all. But still. I kind of like it. I don’t brush my hair or anything, but I still like the look.
And it’s a thing. You know?
I can’t even claim I still have the dying embers of my youth anymore. And I sleep with a grandpa of six grandkids.
What I have now, is that expanse of time that hangs between middle age and elderly.
So, of course I dyed my hair purple. I think I will call this particular shade “I am TOO still fun, I mean, look at my hair! It’s fucking purple!” purple.
I’m going to hold on to these years for as long as I can. Because we all know what comes next. Next are the “capri pants with elastic waistbands and sun visor” years.
Not just capris and sun visors. I won’t be that kind of senior. I don’t think. Probably not.
There will be a top involved, I am sure. Probably, a wind breaker, too.
It’s Monday morning, I have no idea what will happen between now and noon on the 20th. I am hoping for smooth, but holding my breath, because we all know something is going to happen.
But I’ll be ready, because I’m not elderly quite yet, I have purple hair and I might be a unicorn. Or the crypt keeper.
I’m honestly cool with either.