Well, if NO ONE ELSE is gonna talk about the #YesAllWomen hashtag, then I guess I will.
Okay, it’s been discussed, re-discussed and discussed again.
And it’s still not enough.
I’ve read tweets and blog posts and personal stories that make me want to cry and rant and rail against the violent acts that are committed against women. I have my own set of stories that I could tell that range from being afraid to being hurt.
What I find myself getting seriously annoyed by is the #NotAllMen hashtag.
Motherfuckers, NO ONE SAID it was all men who commit violent acts against women.
I decided to start using the #NotAllWalnuts hashtag in my tweets. Am I doing it to minimize the #NotAllMen hashtag?
Yes. Yes I am.
Okay, are there tweets out there from women who claim ALL men are bad? I don’t know. I suspect there are. But that doesn’t change the fact that the #YesAllWomen hashtag doesn’t inherently mean that ALL men are bad.
There is an issue with violence against women. Denying that is stupid.
There are also issues with drug abuse, animal abuse, driving while drunk, sexual assault against men and elder abuse.
The #YesAllWomen hashtag isn’t about those things.
When someone tries to raise awareness about an issue, it is inevitably met with “Yes, but what about…(fill in the blank)”?
So, unless we consider fixing every issue that exists at the same time then it’s not fair to consider addressing any of them? At that point, our only option is to sit around with our collective thumbs up our asses.
But I digress.
Why can’t we all address the issue of violence against women without people getting defensive? What is there to get defensive over?
How dare we speak out against being afraid and being abused and being molested?
It makes no sense at all.
Again, I’m sure there are some women who have made blanket statements condemning all men. I disagree with these women. But just because they are using their voice to paint all men as bad doesn’t take away one iota of the violence committed against women. Why would anyone even focus on that? Why not focus on the problem at hand and treat the extreme comments as they should be treated? With silence.
The #NotAllMen hashtag is attempting to take the focus from the issue at hand. Why? I don’t understand why. Because it seems to me, that every single human who isn’t an abuser or molester or rapist would get behind a movement where woman speak out against fear and rape.
I’ve come to the conclusion that far too many of the humans have the emotional maturity of walnuts.
#NotAllWalnuts are used for baking
#NotAllWalnuts cause death by choking
#NotAllWalnuts are eaten by squirrels
Conversely, I will say that after spending some time reading the #NotAllMen tweets, I saw scores and scores of men using that hashtag to defend the #YesAllWomen hashtag. A lot of men countered the vitriol with statements supporting women. One of the messages that stood out was a collection of ‘let’s get over ourselves here and LISTEN to what these women are saying’.
This gives me hope.
We have to have discussions. We have to find a place where we can agree.
We have to stop being defensive.
It starts with discussions. It starts with the language we use. How about this? Speak up if you hear someone degenerate a woman or speak about her as if she is an object. Speak up and tell them to stop.
It doesn’t have to be this way. We can change the culture we live in. There will always be human on human violence, I don’t believe that will ever change, but I think it’s possible that our daughters and granddaughters can live in a little less fear than we do.
I’ve been going back and forth on posting this because I’ve read so many wonderful articles written on the subject. People have written so eloquently and passionately and with such intelligence about violence against women and I write about goat quizzes.
But I still have a voice. It might be simple and crude and flawed, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be loud and strong.