I had an interaction on Twitter which frustrated me. The interaction also frustrated Randy, but mostly because he always strongly advises to not interact with people in a negative way on social media.
Mostly I don’t, but sometimes, damn.
This was my tweet:
All I want is for someone to assure me that Twitter will be fun again some day.
Someone, who I don’t follow, responded by suggesting they tickle me.
Which is weird, but humans are weird and I’m down with that. I didn’t want to encourage the behavior, so I responded with a “no” and that tickling makes me violently angry.
Ask Randy. He still has scars. Emotional ones, not physical.
Douche twizzle: Licking then?
Oh my god. Gross. See? This is just nasty.
Me: Fucking hell. Just stop.
Douche twizzle: Not until you scream… Oh alright, a cup of tea and a biscuit will do. Bourbon anyone?
I thought I was pretty clear about not being interested in that sort of banter. And I know that Randy wants me to just walk away from shit like this, not because he doesn’t want me to defend myself, but he knows how very ugly people can be on the internet and how easily others can pile on and he wants to protect me from that. He is also concerned that I will lose my Twitter account. I thought about that for a minute and decided I don’t fucking care. I will defend myself when people are disrespectful. I have ignored shit like this all my life and I’m done with it. How is anything ever going to change if we don’t change what obviously does not fucking work.
Me: Okay. Here’s the thing, and I’m probably a fucking dumbass for even trying to explain this, but I am not interested in this. Not at all. It is gross and upsetting. I would have thought that the “fucking hell, just stop” would have clued you in, but I guess I have to be more direct.
Douche twizzle: Stop replying then. None of this is serious, it’s just daft.
Me: But it is not just daft. It is invasive and triggering. If someone says to stop, then stop. Maybe, even say “sorry I upset you”. But no, you put the burden on me for your boorish behavior. Why should I NOT respond when you address me directly? Just don’t be a dick, dude.
Douche twizzle: Ok
I was pretty pleased with that outcome. I made my point.
He acknowledged my point and we let it go. Until someone else chimed in. And this fucking kills me.
I hate when women support the misogyny woven into our fabric.
I get it, I do. We are products of our upbringing and experiences, but damn, I would have hoped that more women would examine their part in supporting the misogyny that hurts all of us. Not just women. All humans.
Traitor to her gender: Eh? But Michelle it’s you who seems to have lost your sense of humor??? Don’t tweet stuff like that if you don’t want some fun responses? I thought Douche twizzle was quite funny.
Lost my sense of humor? I am goddamn hilarious. Also, fuck this. I semi-calmly protested being spoken to in a manner I found distasteful and a woman is going to tell me to lighten up? What the fucking fuck? Even worse, she actually said a sort of “I was asking for it”. Don’t tweet stuff like what? Seriously. My original tweet was innocuous and somewhat lame. In no way was I asking a stranger to suggest they lick me until I scream. I also disagree with what constitutes a “fun” tweet. I know in the big scheme of things, this is not a huge deal, but it does kind of illustrate, in a small way, how women are treated when they ask to not be mistreated. The problem isn’t just men.
Douche twizzle: Thank you Traitor. My only intention is to make people laugh a bit. Never mean to offend.
Traitor: No I can see that, thought it quite rude of her… never mind.
For all that is fucking holy. How am I the rude one in this scenario? HOW?
I did let it go. I didn’t respond to her tweets.
I said what I wanted to say to the douche twizzle. Also, it’s the weekend and I’d rather not spend my time defending my sense of humor and right to stand up for myself with people on twitter. Especially, with a traitor. I’m kind of done with traitors. I’m working on standing up for myself. I’m not taking on saving the world.
A huge part of me just fucking screams I don’t get the cultural differences.
Or, I am being oversensitive. I have no humor. I reject that.
I don’t want some strange motherfucker saying he wants to lick me until I scream. That is gross. I accept some people want to engage in this type of banter. I say rock on with your big bad selves. I am on your side.
But when someone says stop, then you motherfucking stop.
It is really the least you can do to respect your fellow human. Just stop when someone says stop. Own your shit.
You know, or don’t. I can’t spend any more time fretting over it.
Not when I still have episodes of Daredevil to binge on Netflix.
Photo courtesy of Gratisography