Where Old Bloggers Go To Die


This is me…worried that I will run out of things to say. I’m worried that I will run out of things to say and I’m questioning my motives for writing in the first place. Basically, I’m living in my own head.

This is one reason I love reading all your blogs. I love living in your heads for a few minutes.

I honestly can’t remember what I did that was just for me before I started blogging. This is a lifeline for me. It helps fill the void of an unrewarding job and it makes my brain less itchy.

I’ve never been afraid of running out of words until this week when I tried to write a guest post for someone. I’ve never stared at a blank screen for so long in my life.

Well, other than at work, but that doesn’t count.

I started thinking about the end of my blogging days and then a bunch of strangers chimed in to contribute. Here’s what they had to say:

“Look at her, sad really. She’s just walking up to strangers and saying random things in order to manufacture a ‘spontaneous’ blog post”.

“What’s wrong with these tired bloggers? Gawd…their time is over. They need to realize that”.  Pretty sure this one is a younger version of me who used to sneer at old people in nightclubs. You know..people who were at least in their THIRTIES. What an asshole I was. 

“What? She DIED? Did she ever finish her book”?

“I started reading her blog ironically five years ago”.

“For fuck’s sake. The eighties are over. Let them go”.

“Oh, her blog. I don’t know. It was relevant for a while. I guess. Not really”.

“Isn’t it time for her annual ‘this is my last blog post’ blog post”?

“Did you see her last post? She wrote about how dirty the carpet in her bedroom is. It’s time to stop blogging if you’re reduced to talking about bedroom carpeting”.

“I was at her house the other day. The ‘I am a writer’ sign she hung on her bedroom mirror is faded and dusty. And her carpet is filthy”.

The voices in my head can be real dicks sometimes. Although, sometimes, they are pretty fucking hilarious.

Speaking of guest posts, if you didn’t catch it, I wrote a post for The Woman Formally Known As Beautiful. It was fun and I talked about sex, which is a topic I’m usually squeamish writing about.

For those of you who blog….keep that shit up. I appreciate you all so very much.


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    • And then they can get married! We’ll be mother in laws together! I think all mine are female, but I think same sex imaginary people are allowed to get married regardless of where they live.

  • I just wrote a piece similar to this topic (I linked it below in Comment Luv). I would say that the reason you stared at the screen for so long is that you don’t write well under pressure. Nor do I. I can’t sit down at the computer and force myself to write a blog post if I don’t have anything specific in mind. I’ve been blogging for over ten years and I think it’s gotten easier over time. The current blog turns 6 tomorrow.

    • I really do MUCH better if someone gives me a topic. I always need a little nudge..or it’s born of an idea I didn’t know I was going to have. But if I sit down and go…JUST WRITE SOMETHING…then nothing is going to happen.

      Well..it finally DID happen, but I felt like was writing through cold syrup.

  • Writers block SUCKS!!! I get it far too often and it is always when I actually have time to write. I have about 8 empty “drafts” of things I want to write but always look at them and laugh at myself. However, your guest post was absolutely terrific!!! I was dying reading it! You are doing just fine Ms.

    • Thanks, Rocco! I have a shit ton in my drafts folder. This one, for instance..just the voices in my head part..that’s been sitting there for a while now.

      And thank you for your kind words about the guest post. I was fairly pleased with that one.

  • I just read your guest post and it was awesome! You did a great job. If you ever need topics, I’ve got about 1600 I’ve saved up to write about. Happy to share, but they are typically vulvish.

    • Very cool! Hubs wrote a guest post for me once but that’s the only time I’ve had one. It’s never occurred to me that anyone would want to write on my blog. Vulvish. That made me think of a mash up between Star Trek and Lord Of The Rings

  • Oh my. Yes the voices will get married. AND, you will have mother-in-laws, AND then they will have children!
    AND then the children will grow up and leave home and move across the country!
    (Oh wait, that is my story…..never mind….carry on!)

  • I’ve been away with company and life and stuff but–

    Tell those voices to shut.up. Write when you feel like it, about anything you feel like writing, and I’m sure we’ll all still be reading it! Random stuff, serious stuff, all of it. And I loved the guest post.

    I only write when I feel like it, but when I feel like it–I will write whatever the heck I feel like writing, voices be damned.

  • It’s also tough to write for a different audience. When it’s your own blog you can write whatever you want and your readers will damn well like it, OR ELSE. Writing a guest post for someone else requires a whole different mindset and can feel kind of limiting because even though you know they picked you because they like your writing, you still feel the pressure to kind of shoehorn yourself into their aesthetic.
    Also, the voices in your head are probably just jealous that you got asked to write a guest post and they didn’t. I’m not surprised they didn’t, with that attitude.

    • Right? They need to stop being so goddamn petty. And you are exactly right..I am comfortable here on my blog…other blogs and I feel very raw and exposed and insecure.

  • Why don’t the voices ever have anything good to say? It’s always, you suck, or let’s start a fire.

    P.S. Next time I start a fire I’m blaming it on you. The voices tell me that makes sense.

    • It’s always hard for me to know who I’m talking to as well…

      And you’re right..I probably won’t run out of things to say..my fingers will just fall off

  • Be honest…you’re not trying to get me to blog, just to stop leaving replies that are long enough to require a table of contents.

  • There is no way you’ll run out of material. Not with Ukelele man, homicide inducing bosses, Priscilla, fridge painting, your mad conversations with Randy and not forgetting Randy versus squirrel, which cracks me up every time.
    I wish I could get my act together to start mine for real.
    Thinking of starting off with ’20 hilarious ways to kill your ex…in your head’
    but then maybe not.
    Maybe I still need to wait a little while before I start writing.

  • Well, it makes me happy to know that I’m not the only one with voices in my head.

    Those voices are what prompted me to start a blog in the first place. When they are quiet, I almost hate them now. But when they are active, I find that the other humans who live here are also active and disturb the creative process.

    It’s like they are all in it TOGETHER!

  • I was starting to wonder what kind of assholes you were talking to lately! But the voices in our head are often much meaner than the voices of people OUTSIDE our head. Your mind is the most dangerous neighborhood to walk alone in. Or something like that.

  • Your critical internal voices remind me of every guitar solo I ever played in front of actual people:
    “They don’t want to hear this garbage”.
    “Who do you think you are?”
    (Then with a nod to the dearly departed)
    “Shut up both of you! I’m the one playing this stupid thing, and I’ll play it as stupidly as I want. At least you can’t actually hear them snoring this time…”

    By the way, your guest-post was hilarious.

  • I loved your guest post !!!! Luckily I’m at work by myself for a short while because I would definitely have had a hard time explaining why I was laughing had my boss been here !!!!
    Have the best day and Michelle, keep sitting there because the words will flow and I will miss you if you stop !!!
    Me xox

  • I always figure if I run out of stuff to blog about, I’ll fall back to the things I always carry in my pocket(brain) to talk about when having to meet new people. (movies, music, books, pets, family)
    This is where you realize I’m really uncomfortable with awkward silences. I have a zero tolerance policy.
    If you ever can’t think of anything, feel free to email me. I shit you not, I’ll shoot you a list of 10 random things and I bet one of them will work. If not, I’ll send another 10. and so on.

  • We all get voices in our head like that. And it comes with the very real knowledge that not everyone is going to like you, which feels threatening. But it shouldn’t. The people who have the same attitude that your negative voices have don’t matter. It is the stories that matter. We all have dirty carpets we feel bad about and sometimes that shit matters too.

    I never used to take blogging seriously. I prefer to refer to it as “playing internet.” I love playing internet! A blank screen and I can write whatever I want. Plop plop plop. Fuzzy fuzz zip zip aroooga boobs. I grieve when a blogger leaves. Just write regularly. It’s the practice that makes it good.

  • Cheese. Cheese is the answer.

    Whenever my husband needs to write a lede, he stocks up on at least a pound of aged cheddar. Oh, plus coffee. Next time you have to write a guest post, feel free to try this recipe.

    Seriously, though, don’t worry. Your writing is good, your thoughts are good…looks to me like you’ve got it made. 🙂

  • Okay, I have no idea why I keep losing your posts from my feed. I just re-subscribed via email so hopefully that fixes things. I seriously thought you went on a very, very long hiatus. DOH.

    Keep writing, Michelle.

    • Hahaha..nope. No hiatus. If I ever go silent, then I’m probably dead or in a coma. Or my fingers actually did fall off.

      Well, no..I’d just dictate to Randy and make him write it if my fingers fell off.

  • Ha! Wanna talk about dirty carpet – if I weren’t ashamed I’d post pix of the filthiness we’re ripping up out of son’s room…
    But I decided a long time ago that I blog to quieten the voices in MY head – it’s cheap therapy when I can’t make time to drive to town to see my therapist…
    I’d like to think I’ve gotten past any ego-tripping about who reads my drivel, but 1st comment on yesterday’s long-overdue post basically told me to “Get a Life”… A brisk slap to Ye Olde Ego!

  • Michelle, on a post about not being able to post you have received 29 non-author comments (I counted 🙂 I would say you’re in pretty good shape. I’m betting that if you had riveting topics but were a crappy writer you would not be as successful – but you got write!

  • Next time you feel pressured about writing a guest post, you should ask someone to write a guest post for your blog. Then take that guest post, print it out, throw it in the recycle bin (’cause you’re a super Earth saver), and say, I can write better shit than that. Turn on your computer. Bam, inspiration will hit you.

    Works like a charm. You’re welcome.

    (Also works for songwriting, in case you were wondering. )

  • OMG.. your voices are hilarious.. you really need to let them out more often.. The line about the old people at the clubs, you so nailed it.. LOL..

    Great writing..

  • having just been AWOL in the blogoshere for nearly two weeks, I totally get your voices. Writer’s block sucks, and although I’m new to the blog scene, I’ve already had those “what the fuck am I doing here?” thoughts. Sometimes it’s all a little overwhelming. And then I remember: oh yeah, I need to write or my head will explode. That’s why I’m here. Carry on…..
    (p.s. read your guest post for TWFKAB and it was sooooo funny!)

  • It’ll be five years for my blog in October and I’ve almost ended it twice but then what would I do with all the notes and funny sounding words and song titles, cheers and gripes, and all the rest? Go crazy, that’s what! And I hate it when someone leaves suddenly. So listen up. No one is allowed to leave and we’ll all be here until we can’t remember our names, right?
    That’s all I have to say about that.

By Michelle


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