Latest stories

The Street Where I Live


The street where I live?
Imagine if Charles Dickens described a typical working class neighborhood, but in the Midwest. And in 2021. Then, Thomas Kincaid paints the street, but he’s been disillusioned and is in a bad mood.
That’s what a painting of my street would look like.

Soul Wrenching Shin Whack


So, I had this thing happen. Super unpleasant. I can still feel it. You guys, we’ve been locked in so long now. It’s just stupid. I don’t mean that staying safe is stupid. Not at all. It’s just so fucking stupid to be in your own stupid fucking bedroom for a stupid number of months. I mean, We’re fine. Seriously. Fine, We’re fine. Anyway, we’ve made some...

I Can Take A Punch


Randy and I were discussing celebrity chefs and I was reminded of a family reunion. Our baby boy, Joey will be 23 on April Fool’s day. When he was 2, we attended a family reunion on Randy’s side of the family. There were dozens and dozens of people there, so you know, it was my personal hell. Holy shit, you guys, the only thing I hate more than large gatherings is my yearly lady parts...


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