I used to love wrapping presents. I’m not super good at it. My corners are always off and sometimes there are bunchy spots.
And if I don’t measure right and the underneath is a little exposed? I let that shit go.
My flourishes make up for my lack of precision. I do it all. Curling ribbon, wide ribbon, gauzy ribbon, gingham ribbon, twine, bows and there is always something covered in glitter. Which means we’ll all be covered in glitter until after the new year. Demetri Martin said it best when he said “Glitter is the herpes of the craft world”.
I even went through a phase where I used a glue gun to glue little pom poms all over the package.
Don’t worry, that’s totally normal. Not weird or obsessive at all.
This year? I’m not into it. I have always loved wrapping presents. I mean, it’s loud and messy and chaotic. But it’s always sincere and impressive.
Something has happened the last few years.
Wrapping presents fucking hurts. I don’t know if I want to call it ‘wrapping presents’ or ‘fucking up my back for the rest of the day’.
It’s not just that, though. Really, the back shit probably started 10 years ago. I never let that stop me from my gift wrapping task.
I just don’t care about it this year.
I’m not finished with my over the top gift wrapping. I’m just not into it this year. Even a little. I sent the grandbabies gifts without a single ribbon on any of them. And everyone got gift cards. It’s like I’m Krampus.
I also decided against putting up a tree. I’ve never not put up a tree. I feel bad about it, but not because I didn’t put the tree up. I feel bad because I don’t feel bad about not putting a tree up. There’s layers, you guys.
I did find a little spirit.
Or rather, I was given spirit at the work ornament exchange. Okay, not spirit. Spirits. The network dude drew my name and got me a bag full of ornaments. If by ornaments, we mean mini bottles of booze. Randy also enjoyed my booty from the work exchange. We decorated the inside of our stomachs with them. It was festive.
Even though I am short on holiday spirit, I am still enjoying my time off. I am still grateful for my family and for my kitties and all of you.
I wish you all peace and love this holiday.
Photo courtesy of Raw Pixel.