Peace, Love and Glitter


I used to love wrapping presents. I’m not super good at it. My corners are always off and sometimes there are bunchy spots.

And if I don’t measure right and the underneath is a little exposed? I let that shit go.

My flourishes make up for my lack of precision. I do it all. Curling ribbon, wide ribbon, gauzy ribbon, gingham ribbon, twine, bows and there is always something covered in glitter. Which means we’ll all be covered in glitter until after the new year. Demetri Martin said it best when he said “Glitter is the herpes of the craft world”.

I even went through a phase where I used a glue gun to glue little pom poms all over the package.

Don’t worry, that’s totally normal. Not weird or obsessive at all. 

This year? I’m not into it. I have always loved wrapping presents. I mean, it’s loud and messy and chaotic. But it’s always sincere and impressive.

Something has happened the last few years.

Wrapping presents fucking hurts. I don’t know if I want to call it ‘wrapping presents’ or ‘fucking up my back for the rest of the day’. glitter

It’s not just that, though. Really, the back shit probably started 10 years ago. I never let that stop me from my gift wrapping task.

I just don’t care about it this year.

I’m not finished with my over the top gift wrapping. I’m just not into it this year. Even a little. I sent the grandbabies gifts without a single ribbon on any of them. And everyone got gift cards. It’s like I’m Krampus.

I also decided against putting up a tree. I’ve never not put up a tree. I feel bad about it, but not because I didn’t put the tree up. I feel bad because I don’t feel bad about not putting a tree up. There’s layers, you guys.

I did find a little spirit.

Or rather, I was given spirit at the work ornament exchange. Okay, not spirit. Spirits.  The network dude drew my name and got me a bag full of ornaments. If by ornaments, we mean mini bottles of booze. Randy also enjoyed my booty from the work exchange. We decorated the inside of our stomachs with them. It was festive.

Even though I am short on holiday spirit, I am still enjoying my time off. I am still grateful for my family and for my kitties and all of you.

I wish you all peace and love this holiday.


Photo courtesy of Raw Pixel.

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  • I hear you! My post divorce grinchness had worn off slightly by last year. I do now have the tiniest of trees, perched on the top of a bookcase, not that I could fit anything bigger in my shoebox studio flat 🙂 However, as I work my way through the 4th box of tissues and am entirely powered by cough syrup and cold remedies, I’m definitely not feeling it this year either. I hope it has eased off a bit so I can enjoy tomorrow with my brother and his family, but the lergy isn’t showing any sign of wanting to leave me just yet. Here’s hoping for a better new year! Merry Christmas to you and Randy. Pass the bourbon xxx

  • I’m slightly older than you and my mother is lots older (obviously). I remember when she stopped decorating. It was after my brother and I had grown up and moved away. I also remember thinking how could she not care about a tree or other decorations? Now I understand. Now also my mom has gotten back into a bit of decorating. So, it happens.

    What also happens is that my teenage son cares and not only set up our artificial tree in the living which his dad then decorated but also bought and decorated a real tree for his room. So if you were to come over and stand in our living room, you’d see two beautiful trees (look up the stairs to see into his room) plus a wreath over the fireplace and a stocking hung with care.

    And Christmas spirit(s) will also be opened tomorrow.

    • I am jealous. I have always been the sole keeper of the spirit. No one but me decorated the tree. I mean, the kids did when they were little, but didn’t care about it after 10 or so

  • Yup.
    You get me <3
    I tried wrapping from the couch with the present on my lap because 'surgery' and since I have never had a moral standing for wrapping precision (I know – go figure… I'm the ribbon girl, too! ) they look a little like my inner child got the scissors and tape 🙂
    Good ol' sparkly metallic paper even makes that shit look festive, 'eh?
    My tree, tho! Daughter in law pre-made a skinny, tall, pink and pastel unicorn tree for me and brought it over and plugged it in! Goes back to her house when it's over!
    Priceless <3
    You are not alone and you have my empathy…

  • I have “Bah Humbug” written all over me this year, but that won’t stop me from wishing you and all of your readers a very Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year. Your writing is one of the things I look forward to, so, thank you!

  • It’s all good, Michelle. Haven’t put up a tree since Mom died three years ago. Kids won’t be home, so what’s the point?
    Amazon is my best friend this year. And my worst enemy! What do you mean it won’t be delivered until Jan. 4?
    Now, I am sitting in a near empty hotel a few miles from my house, hoping the septic guy can fix us up, and keep raw sewage from backing up into the downstairs shower so we don’t spend another night in a near empty hotel. Dropping son at the airport at 5 am. Am tempted to buy a ticket to Fiji while we’re there.

      • Oh, it all worked out beautifully in the end. Honestly, without “shitty” things happening, I’d be bereft of funny stories to tell. Because, after all, that’s the only thing that gets us through the hard times, a fine sense of humor.
        Probably why this has become one of the few sites I visit regularly. Happy New Year, Michelle, to you and yours. Lots for you to look forward to this year, and I look forward to reading all about it.

  • This is the worst time of year for me. I am so depressed. I blame it on events from the past, that is really not it. It is Christmas Eve, I have to wrap. I bought gift bags last night to avoid some wraping. My car over heated and stopped. So we parked in front of my favorite silver jewelry store and Victoria Secret… for two hours waiting on the tow truck. Needless to say, with my rediculous debt, I am avoiding sharp objects. I will be fine Wednesday when my car is fixed and Christmas is over. Well, maybe not fine but better. As my financial coach says, I am better off than most of who he coaches. I hate to be Debbie Downer. Every year I think it is going to get better but this year it is worse. I will go see my grandchildren and know why I have to stay around for a little while longer.

  • Funny! I know what you mean. We haven’t put up a tree in a few years. Hopefully next year when we are living closer to the grandkids things will be different. I did put out a couple of Christmas bowls this year which is more than the last few years. It’s still rather pathetic. Merry Christmas to you and yours and hopefully this will be a better year for all of us!

    • I hope so. Randy already said yesterday that we’re putting up a tree next year. I didn’t think he cared. I don’t think he KNEW he cared until it wasn’t there.

  • Oh, I got there before you, years ago, when my addict-daughter turned against me, proclaimed me the evil source of all her problems and cut me off from my granddaughter. It has been a bizarre ride. She is now enabled by her dad and his vicious 2nd wife. Hard to believe such people exist! But apparently they do. Ah well.

    Managed to go to a performance by my granddaughter a week ago, and she surreptitiously nodded a greeting, which totally made my day. I’ve helped care for her since she was born; that little nod was a balm. So, much as I love a lit-up tree, I’m no longer able to manage it alone and my heart isn’t in it.

    In good news, my son will sneak an anonymous Xmas gift for my granddaughter to her, from “Santa”. He’s not cut off. He’s the family diplomat.

    You will be happy! Enjoy your day! Even in the darkest times, there are sparks of joy.

  • We don’t really do Christmas, haven’t for a long time. Well, that’s not entirely true, Brenda said she has gifts for us that she will bring sometime in the next few days.
    Still, whenever I want to feel the spirit of the holidays, I go read this:

    And since I actually found your blog in her comment section, it seemed somewhat appropriate to post it here.

    Merry Christmas to you, Randy, your whole family, and those, uh, decorations.

  • In the end it’s all about what makes you feel good. And if you can’t feel good at the holidays when are you supposed to feel good?
    Also I love gift bags. They save me the trouble of cutting out tiny squares of paper to cover the bare patches whenever I wrap gifts.
    Merry Christmas and be sure to treat the Norwegian barn gnome!

  • Recently read an article about glitter in the NY Times, very interesting. Anyhoodles hope your Christmas has food, laughs and love, and fuck the rest of it. Cheers to you and your family, and keep up the good blogging in 2019!

  • Happy Holidays to you and yours!

    Mommy died in 2006; I never really had decorations to bother with until I married College Sweetheart in 2009, and he was very much always “in charge” of decorating. For awhile, we’d go to Lowe’s and buy a potted rosemary “tree” to decorate and then put out on the balcony once the weather warmed. We killed a new rosemary plant every year for about the first five years of our marriage (at some point before June, which meant Lowe’s would refund our initial payment, as long as we brought the poor pathetic dead thing back to them).
    Then when we moved to North Carolina for family bullshit, we acquired a fake tree… and that made the move back to California, even though we’d downscaled so much that a lot of my clothing and my bowling ball did NOT make it back home!
    Ennyhoo, last year was the first year I had any Spirit, and I put up and decorated the tree all by myself. This year, it was up to him again. He lost his momentum after doing all of the lights, so none of the old favorite ornaments even made it out of boxes. Oh, well. The lights are pretty.
    I’m hoping that 2019 keeps me so busy in my industry that next Christmas will be Spiritfilled for all! … also, I really need to get back to my own blog. Sheesh.

    • Randy never cares about the tree. This is the first year I didn’t put one up. He says next year, he is going to put it up and maybe some lights outside. We’ll see.

By Michelle

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