He’s going to lose. When he does, he’s not going to slither away and be quiet. He’s been super-charged with narcissistic supply from the goddamn world.
We should give him something to do. Why not have him play movie villains? I mean, it’s not a stretch and he’ll have cameras on him. It will be like distracting a fussy baby with car keys. And the movies don’t actually have to be made. I think as long as he has a camera on him, he’ll be fine.
Here are 19 reprised movie villain roles, slightly changed to suit the orange nightmare.
- Hans Groper
- Con
- Verbal Kant
- The Wicked Witch of Manhattan
- Orange Julius The Hutt
- Dr. Hannibal Letcher
- Captain Blergh
- Gold Little Finger
- Gordon Blechco
- Travesty Bickle
- Lord Voldemoldy
- Daddy Dearest
- Marsellus Soulless
- General Zod, Jr.
- Biff Spray-On Tannen
- Nurse Wretched
- Darth Fuckhead
- Gollum
- Leatherface
Okay, numbers 18 and 19 weren’t changed. But really, they are perfect as is.
What reprised villain movie roles for Donald Trump would you add?
This week Dude gets a pet, gets drunk and, of course, causes trouble.
Gollum had moments of conscience at least.
The Donald should play the bad guy stuffed shirt from It’s a Wonderful Life. It wouldn’t be a stretch for him at all.
Yes! Mr. Potter. Hmmmm..now, what can we change that to?
Mr. Pawedher
*high fives Melinda*
Nailed it!
Ohhhhhh perfect!!!
Evil Prince John in ‘Robin Hood: Men in Tights.’
I don’t watch too many good vs. evil shows… mostly comedies, so this role is a bumbling narcissist’s gem.
But, Stephen King could put him in almost ANY of his book-made-for-TV evildoer roles 😉
Thank Randy for the Dude ‘happy smile primers.’
Sorry about your shoe box… Sacrifices must be made to keep Dude away from Bad Kitty…
*nods knowingly*
I have never seen Men In Tights. I meant to, but I never have.
*drags self up to sitting on floor*
Well. I am so sorry for your deprivation.
*tips whiskey bottle all the way up*
No need to go on.
*falls back down on floor*
Let me know when the world is right again.
Haha..I’ll watch it one of these days. Also, pass the bottle
Yes. It’s best with the bottle.
*wipes slobber off whiskey bottle*
Here.
How about the joker? Though I’ve far more feeling for the joker so maybe not!!
Yeah, that definitely works. I don’t think he’s quite as clever as the joker.
A few others:
The Cretin from the Black Lagoon
Dickface (instead of Scarface)
Lecherface (instead of Leatherface)
Adolph Shitler (a real-life villain who he seems to emulate)
Keyser So-Vain
Let’s just keep him occupied so he leaves the rest of the world alone!
HAHAHAAHAH…I LOVE those!!! So we have both Verbal Kant and Keyser So-Vain. Brilliant!!!
I know they say that Biff’s character in “Back to the Future 2” was based on Mr. Trump, but the villain he reminds me of the most is Kingpin from netflix’s “Daredevil” series.
This is a super rich bad guy who gets mad about what the hero is doing so runs for office to try to demonize the hero. And it’s so obvious that he is the villain that you immediately wonder how the people of New York are falling for his good guy act.
He is Kingpin.
Okay! But let’s change it up a little. How about Kingpinhead?
The pictures of Dude are well worth having to get up early on a Saturday to do laundry. Well, so are your blogs, but that goes without saying. Randy is a gem!
He really is. I give him a lot of shit..but he is awesome. Just don’t tell him I said that, motherfucker will let that go straight to his head.
Count Drumpfula!
Mwaahh-ha-ha. He’d starve, his tiny mouth doesn’t open wide enough!
HAHA
Sour-on – Dark Lord of Mouldor
HAHAHAAH YES!!!
Maybe the Dreyfus character from “The Pink Panther Strikes Again”? Or a terminator reboot where he has liquid metal hair? Or a live-action Wile E. Coyote whose hands are just too small to hold onto the Roadrunner?
HAHAHAHA… Donald J Coyote? THAT is goddamn hilarious. Too small to hold the roadrunner. HAHAHHAHA
You know. something was bugging me while I was thinking of movie roles for that creep, then after I hit the submit button I remembered what it was. Driftglass posted it on his blog a couple of weeks ago. He should be Custer in Little Big Man:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWGAdzn5_KU
Yeup! He certainly could.
Too fkn funny! My fav is Orange Julius the Hutt…can’t beat that image & the hilarious disgust it conjures. With Trump you’re either laughing or shuddering & trying not to vomit, so it’s perfect.
I’m just glad it will all be over soon.
The Headless Horseman. Doesn’t he carry a pumpkin for a head? They could use his own damn orange head! 😀
HAHAAH…yes!
There are so many fantastic responses here but they also give me a strange twinge. These brilliant parodies make me laugh but I also feel like they’re ruining some of my favorite villains.
What’s the difference between Donald Trump and the Creature From The Black Lagoon?
You feel sorry for the Creature From The Black Lagoon.
Even Norman Bates–a guy whose last name just screams to be turned into a Trump joke–has a complicated backstory.
The best villains are complicated, multi-dimensional characters.
Donald Trump is two-dimensional and barely even that.
If Donald Trump were a movie villain he’d be Donald Trump, and that would be a pretty shitty movie.
You make a very good choice. And I tried REALLY hard to come up with something clever for Norman Bates, but I drew a blank. the best I could do was Norman Masturbates.