Rounding the bases and heading for home

I don’t usually use sports analogies like ’rounding the bases’.

I’m not a sports person. The only sports I’ve ever cared about were sports where one of my kids was playing.

Two jobs ago, I was forced to wear business casual to work. Except on Fridays, during football season. You could wear jeans, but you had a sport a shirt supporting a team.

So, I got a t-shirt that said “Go local professional and/or college sports team.”

I was told it didn’t count. But I wore it anyway. Every Friday.

But I digress.

We are rounding the bases.

The election is weeks away and matters so very fucking much.

It’s hard to not be terrified every single second of every day. Oh, and about COVID. Also, terrifying,

These are trying times, my friends.

Talk to your people. Encourage people to vote. We are literally in a fight for our lives.

It’s hard to not be scared all the time. I feel like I’m in a dark pit all the time. And I know I am not alone.

But then I realized something.

Those bananas on the counter that went over a few days ago? They are providing a safe haven for dozens of fruit flies.

So, you know, I’m blessed.

I’m not sleeping well.

I say this from a perspective of someone who has been an insomniac around 17 years.

I wake up and spend literal hours with words running through my head which is because I play way too much Words with Friends and the boggle game on my phone. It’s the boggle game, you guys. My brain insists on waking me up and saying, “Okay, how many words end in “uffed”?”








OMG no. Please. Please don’t do this. Do not, under any circumstances, consider “ulled” or “umped”. Just no.

But then I do.

Fruit flies aside, I do try to acknowledge all my wins.

I’m working from home again. I took a risk and it paid off. I am grateful for that.

I’ve also had some super satisfying work days. I learned something new and I’m kicking it in the ass. I am definitely not an old dog yet, because I can still learn new tricks.

I really do have to get on a more regular shower schedule though, because damn.

So, I’ve really been trying to keep my sense of humor. I really have. If I think of something funny, I’ll tweet it. I mean, it might only be funny to me, but I’ll still tweet it.

I’m not complaining or anything here, but y’all, there are so many people who either explain jokes or take them seriously. Holy shit. May the deity of your choice continue to shine upon humans who take jokes seriously.

On Sunday, which is a weird fucking day because I was up almost all night last night.





Anyway, on  Sunday, I tweeted “My family coat of arms is two plastic forks crossed over a used paper plate.”

And someone’s response was “I hope recycling is part of your family tradition.”

So, what they were saying was “You irresponsible bitch. You use disposable cutlery and plates?  You are killing the planet. You are ruining the world for everyone. I hate you. I hope you get herpes.”

Obviously, I am paraphrasing here. I can’t know exactly what they meant, but I’m pretty sure I am in the ballpark.

It was a fucking joke. Holy shit.

Also, I could probably do a whole lot better with the whole “recycling” thing.

Either way, it feels like so many of us are looking for reasons to lash out.

Do you know what that gets us?

Dick. And not in the good way.

Nothing. It gets us nothing.

We have to take care of each other. We have to give each other to learn and grow. And sometimes things are just funny. Don’t forget to laugh.

And don’t forget to vote.

For all that is holy. We must all vote.


Image by Michael Schwarzenberger from Pixabay

Vote image by Wokandapix from Pixabay

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  • I don’t know; I don’t generally comment on these kinds of things, but it seems to me someone else just made a pretty decent joke of their own, and not anything more nefarious than that. It’s not like they, I dunno, unfriended and blocked you over it or anything harsh like that

    • Well, we certainly all do have different senses of humor. As far and unfriending and blocking goes? I don’t see that as harsh. We all gotta do what we gotta do.

  • OK, I’m not usually a mean humor kind of a guy, but I do like jokes that require some understanding of the world in order to be funny, so I did laugh a little too hard yesterday when they were referring to the Lake Travis boat situation as “Dumbkirk”…
    And I’m not a sports kind of a guy either, but I can’t read a “round the bases” metaphor without thinking of Lou Brock, may he rest in peace.
    And the goddamn Creek Fire is a monster and it’s like three ridges over, if I’m reading the map correctly.
    We’re seemingly still OK here, but Zsuzs’ mom had to evacuate and it’s hard to tell from the fire maps whether her house is still intact.
    Yesterday the smoke was so thick in the air that it looked like night outside at noon, and when you could see the sun at all, it was a deep red color. I thought to myself “How 2020. Now let me see if I have any rubber shoes, because it looks like actual hell outside.”
    Today is much brighter, though, and the fire didn’t grow last night like it did the night before, so that’s nice, but today’s still the goddamn heat wave with triple digit temps making life so lovely for the firefighters who came from all over the place (Sara just texted me about one she knows who came out here from Massachusetts) on Labor Day weekend in the middle of the goddamn apocalypse to try and save our asses.
    Driftglass says that the cavalry isn’t coming because it’s already here, and that made me a little less panicky for a minute. He meant all of the people who have taken to the streets to protest this shit show, starting from the Women’s March, which as I remember it was the largest single day protest in history when it happened THE DAY AFTER THE INAUGURATION, all the way up to the folks who are still out in the street braving the goddamn apocalypse every damn day, although the media has grown tired of covering them and only covers them when things go bad. They’re still out there, though. They’ve had enough of this bullshit, and are willing to risk real danger to say their piece.
    I think that if anything saves us, it will be that grim determination to do whatever we have to do to just make it stop.
    I vote by mail, but when my ballots get here, I will fill them out and take them down to the drop box in Oakhurst so as to not rely on the poor postal service to get them in on time. That’s my plan. My vote won’t matter much in the presidential election as I’m in California, and Biden will win here by even more than the 30 points Clinton won by, but since I’ve moved out of the East Bay I no longer have Barbara Lee as my representative, and I have a luke warm Democrat named Brynne Kennedy to vote for against our goddamn Republican incumbent Tom McClintock.
    Hope everything is as well as could be expected for you and your family, and I’m glad you get to work from home again. It’s getting kinda scary out there.

    • Everything is scary right now. I hope your friend’s mom house is still intact?

      I dunno, Doug…I believe we’re going to make it through all of this. It’s just not going to be easy. And I’ll probably be tired.

      We just got to keep that sense of humor.

  • I’m glad you’re working from home and I hope you can get some decent sleep. Those bananas might help. The fruit flies are extra protein. Or you can have fresh bananas. They’re supposed to be high in potassium which is good for something.
    And, seriously, your family coat of arms shows that recycling is part of your family tradition. You reused a paper plate and plastic utensils. You kept them out of a fucking landfill.
    And finally I’m reminded of a line from Tom Stoppard’s Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead: “Words, words. They’re all we have to go on.”
    Thank you for using your words.

By Michelle


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