Secret Santa Letters & Gifts From President Trump to His Favorite World Leaders

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So, Randy wrote “Secret Santa Letters & Gifts From President Trump to His Favorite World Leaders”. He hasn’t been a guest writer in quite a while. I thought this was funny. 

Might as well laugh as much as we can. 

Dear Mr. Putin,

С Рождеством!

It’s me, making secret Santa great again. Here’s a bigly gift I picked out just for you and I can tell you lightweight China president 11 Jinping will be jealous. Here’s the deed for the State of California!

Just think, when adding this tremendous gift to your economy, you will be a shoo in for the G8!

I’m so tremendously happy I picked your name. Keep guessing until the fake news reveals your secret Santa.

Your secret genius servant,

Wouldn’t you like to know ho ho

p.s. We’re building a moat filled with alligators on California’s northern border to keep loser liberals from Oregon and Washington from infecting your incredible gift.

***

Dear President 11 Jinping,

Seng Dan Fai Lok

It’s me, your secret Shen Dan Lao Ren. Here’s a bigly gift I picked out just for you.

Enclosed find a copy of what many smart people say is the greatest book ever, ‘The Art of the Deal” (just ahead of my favorite, Mein Kampf!).

You may hear fake news about loser Mr. Putin getting California as a gift. Don’t be jealous, believe me, as soon as you finish negotiations with the very stable genius in the U.S., many people are saying you’ll be gifted Australia or the whole African continent.

I’m so tremendously happy I picked your name. Keep guessing until the fake news reveals your secret Santa.

Your secret friend,

Wouldn’t you like to know ho ho!

p.s. Just in case Australia or Africa are not available, you’ll get the deed to Mexico!

***

Dear Supreme Leader of North Korea Kim Jong Un,

Merry Christmas!

It’s me, your secret Santa. Here’s a bigly gift I picked out just for you

Enclosed please find this yuge collection of incredible used sweatbands from your favorite N.B.A. player, Manute Bol.

I’m so tremendously happy I picked your name. Keep guessing until the fake news reveals your secret Santa.

Your secret friend,

Wouldn’t you like to know ho ho!

p.s. Just in case Manute Bol has run out of sweatbands, you’ll receive a game worn athletic supporter from Celtic great, Brian Scalabrine!

p.s.s. If you stop firing missiles until November 4, 2020, believe me, you’ll get a bonus gift to be named later, sk?

***

Dear President Erdogan,

Merry Christmas!

It’s me, your secret Santa. Here’s a bigly gift I picked out just for you. Here are the ownership rights to a strip of land in Northern Syria and low energy New Zealand!

You may hear fake news about other haters and losers receiving game worn athletic equipment, but believe me, your gift is the best!

I’m so tremendously happy I picked your name. Keep guessing until the fake news reveals your secret Santa.

Your secret admirer,

Wouldn’t you like to know ho ho!

p.s. Just in case New Zealand is not available, you’ll be getting yuge collection of incredible used sweatbands from N.B.A. player, Manute Bol.

 

 

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