You would think, after blogging for nearly 4 years, that I would have gotten my fair share of shitty comments, but really, I’ve only had a few. Usually, I get comments that are supportive and insightful and I so look forward to reading them.
I did get a few mean comments when I had an article on the Huffington Post. I’m not going to lie, a few of them stung a little, but mostly, I found them amusing.
I recently agreed to let Better After 50 publish my ‘Things You shouldn’t Wear After 50‘ article. I read the comments this evening and they were awesome. There was one, though, that said the intent was good, but the foul language wasn’t clever.
Not fucking clever? Since when?
Personally, I think the invention of cursing is more clever than sliced bread, movable type, the cotton gin, and soft serve ice cream.
If it weren’t for cursing, I’d have to double up on my anxiety medicine. Seriously, a few enthusiastic ‘motherfuckers’ in a stressful situation and I’m as cool as Joan Jett. And that is very nearly true!
Okay, I’m never as cool as Joan Jett, but it does make me feel better when I curse. It’s like steam escaping a tea kettle, except it’s words instead of steam and it’s my face hole instead of a tea kettle.
I decided to google ways in which cursing is good for you. For instance, I remember reading something about how cursing eases physical pain, like when you smash your finger or stub your toe. The first thing I found was an article that listed three ways to stop swearing. The article referred to swearing as a bad habit. A bad habit! It said to enlist help from friends who wanted to help you to stop swearing.
What kind of fucking friend is that? Friends don’t help friends stop swearing, friends help friends make up new curses. That’s what friends do. At least that’s what my friends do. I have amazingly awesome and vulgar friends.
The article also suggested that you recognize triggers and avoid them. HAHAHAFUCKINGHAHA. If I ever actually considered giving up swearing, and took this advice, then I would never be able to drive, shop, go to work, clean my house, cook, sew, exercise, engage in social media, play cards, drink alcohol or talk to Randy ever again. That was just a sampling of triggers. It might be easier to list the things that don’t inspire me to curse. I thought that maybe an adorable baby wouldn’t be a trigger to curse, but then I realized my response to an adorable baby would likely be, goddamn, that’s an adorable baby.
The third suggestion was to use a swear jar, which is so lame I can’t even make fun of it. Although, if I had used a swear jar throughout my life, then my baby boy wouldn’t have student loans in his future.
Personally, I don’t trust people who never curse. I think they’re up to something.
Oh, and my favorite comment on the Better After 50 site? A 71 year old woman said ‘FUCK the ‘foul language isn’t clever’ remark.
She’s my new hero.