Standing Up While Sitting Down

Sorry, I missed you guys last week, but there was this thing looming. Something I’ve been fretting over for years now and I was distracted.

I’m sure I’m not the only one breathing a huge sigh of relief. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has recently taken the deepest breath they’ve taken in four years.

Anyway, it was two weeks ago last Friday that I virtually performed stand up at the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop.

I don’t think this version is word for word, exactly the same, but it’s pretty fucking close.

I told Randy, before we filmed this, that he should turn the camera off after the word “statement”. I could tell, when I told him, he wasn’t really listening.

So, you’ll see my subtle “noooooo…not yet” gesture when he went to turn of the camera before I was ready.

I considered briefly doing another take, but I’m tired, and sort of want to watch Schitt’s Creek.

The next two months are going to continue to be scary and weird and frustrating, but we’re getting there you guys, we are. I have backed off somewhat from the constant doom scrolling on Twitter which has helped, but it’s not easy.

After 4 years, it’s kind of like an addiction.

I hope you are all staying safe.

The COVID numbers are terrifying and heartbreaking and still, so many people act like being asked to wear a mask is taking away their freedom. I wonder if they think about that every time that snap their seat belt on? Or observe posted speed limits?

I just want to get to a place where at least most of us have enough respect and empathy for all the other humans to do the very least we have to do to keep them safe.

We are in this together. I think it will be a grim winter, but it won’t last forever.


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  • I love those gloves! Statement heard and received. Dreading the next few months because it has occurred to me that the ‘bad guys’ have all the guns. And access to the military. Eek.

    You look wonderful in blue!

  • I had to let a facebook friend go yesterday. They are someone I have known most of my life, but they believe all the crap. They believe the election was fraudulent and shared a post calling for civil war to rectify what they think is wrong. Civil war because they lost. A violent takeover harming innocent citizens. When opinions are dangerous and spread dangerous messages I think that’s where I have to draw the line. And that’s where we are. What 45 is doing is SO dangerous, and his supporters are following suit. I wasn’t meaning to get political, it’s just all anyone can think about right now. I actually enjoyed the stand up routine. I applaud the use of the f word in the end bit. So appropriate. 🙂

  • By the way, with regard to losing FB friends – I have a SIL that I’ve never met, married to my husband’s late brother who is dropping FB and going to MeWe. I thought, even though I disagree with pretty much everything she says, she’s still family, so I went and signed up there. OMG. They advertise that there are no ads and no political leanings, and then go on to say how right they are and how full of BS FB is and on and on (very right – not even bothering to lean). Then I find out another SIL (also married to one of my husband’s late brothers) is also dropping FB and going to MeWe. The only thing I can say is I’m appalled. And scared a little, that they are so in ‘lock step’ with the BS coming out of DC. Did you see the voting percentages for DC? It’s laughable. You should go to view this page (there’s another but I was smart enough not to sign up for that one) just to see what they think is unbiased ( Fingers still crossed that they ends peacefully.

  • You are so fucking cute. Those last 5 seconds were so deadpan snarky good and the look on your face …

    Schitt$ Creek makes me happy in many ways – I think it could be metaphorical, in its own warped way.

    I hope you get everything you want, Michelle, cuz that’s what I want too and I wanna be happy for you and that’s how the Trickle-Down Theory is supposed to work <3
    I like that this example doesn't use money.

    *runs to bathroom mirror to practice deadpan snarky face retorts*

  • OH!!! And, I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT!!!! (It looks purple on my end, so I got both delights – when you said it was blue, I was all, “OOhh prophetic and gorgeous.”

  • What, is there some fucking restriction on swear words? Fuck that, you were hilarious. Loved your blue statement, even though it did look kinda purple on my screen.
    Yeah, the covid situation is terrifying. I got to do my doctor appointment over the phone to avoid a trip to the valley of seething covid, and the next appointment in February as well. I have some issues I would like to have looked at, but they’ll have to wait until at least spring time, because this is no joke.
    Maybe we’ll have to hire Four Seasons Total Trump Removal service and Composting Assistants… The white house is reminding me of a place up in wine country where all the local ranchers and dairy farmers have piled the cow droppings into this twenty foot tall mound that you can smell for miles, even with your car windows up. They make bank off of selling it for fertilizer, so we should figure out how to profit off of the mountain of bullshit emanating from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
    Or on second thought, I’d really mostly just like it to stop.

  • 18 year old went to a Halloween party. 8 days later he was sick. 9 days later I was sick. 10 days later Hubs. While I think it’s coincidental, since we are all feeling pretty good after a day or two, I made hubs get tested. Still waiting on the results. And yet… he’s still going to work. And so am I. We work for the same office. Apparently federal guidelines trump state ones.

    “If you’re sick stay home, but we need you to come to work, so wear the mask, & don’t lick anyone.”

    Lord help me. We will ALL get through this. We have to.

  • Before I say anything else I have to tell you the gloves and the hat were an amazing statement. Absolutely fantastic. And I loved the whole set. Especially about ordering Chinese food. Although I’m really glad we live in an area with a lot of different takeout options because I’m pretty sure even I’d get tired of Chinese food, and my wife doesn’t need me to read the fine print of her cookie fortunes.

By Michelle


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