For Krampus’s sake. It’s a cup.
I guess there are a few people upset and claiming that Starbucks® is taking a shit on Christmas. Apparently, not having a snowflake on a Starbucks red holiday cup ruins Christmas.
Then, on the other side from the people who want to boycott over Starbuck’s red holiday cups, are the people who are losing their shit over the people who are upset about the red cups.
Every fucking person, on the entire planet, is having their Christmas RUINED by Starbucks. Way to go Starbucks. Fucking assholes. Christmas ruiners. It’s enough to put me off my pumpkin spice.
This won’t stop at Starbucks. There will be the people, who will spend the entire holiday season absolutely livid, because the goddamn atheists are trying to steal Christmas from them by forcing everyone to say “Happy Holidays”. The atheists act like it doesn’t even matter that Jesus died for their sins.
We all know that, whenever someone says “Happy Holidays”, an angel gets diarrhea.
They are much like the holiday shouters who will be very butthurt as they remind people, over and over, that everyone isn’t a Christian. They feel saying “Merry Christmas” makes you a knuckle dragging, Donald Trump loving, confederate flag waving, toothless moron, and that’s why the world sucks.
I plan to be over there. You know, with the people who would rather enjoy the holiday season. I will do what I do every year and watch Love, Actually, all by myself, because Randy won’t watch it with me. It’s like he’s trying to ruin Christmas.
I prefer to admire the lights, eat the cookies, and relax during the time off work. I don’t want to be one of the Christmas/anti-Christmas or Holiday season/Anti-holiday season gollums fretting over whatever it is they have their panties knotted up over.
I will probably use a variety of well wishes, including, but not limited to:
“Goddammit, Randy, did you save me a brownie?”
How about we try this. Just step off. Stop. Stop waiting to get offended.
If someone gives you their personal wish that you have a pleasant experience this winter, then just do this: Smile. Return nice wishes of your own. Mean it. If they reject your offer, then slough it off, move on, and have a goddamn awesome winter solstice anyway.
By the way, I was kidding about the pumpkin spice. Pumpkin spice is gross. Much like eggnog, or as I like to call it, “nutmeg flavored phlegm”.
Don’t forget people, Starbuck’s doesn’t ruin Christmas, Krampus ruins Christmas.