Stay The Fuck At Home

Before anything else, let me say that I understand many of us cannot stay the fuck at home. Many of us have to go to work so we can continue to take care of those of us who are staying home. Many of us have families to feed and no choice but to work to continue living. I salute you. I am afraid for you. I love you. And I will protect you by continuing to stay the fuck at home. 

Okay, so I certainly didn’t think “pandemic” as worst case scenario.

Which disappoints me, because I am usually so good at worst case scenario thinking.

I hope you all are safe.

I hope you are fed. I hope if you are able, that you are staying the fuck home. 

S-stay home
T-this is when you should stay home
A-as previously stated, stay home
Y-you should just stay home
H-home is where you should stay
O-OMG, just stay home
M-maybe just stay home, then
E-everyone stay home

Remember that book that Samuel L Jackson read called Go The Fuck To Sleep?

We need a new version of that book called Stay The Fuck At Home. Read, of course, by Samuel L Jackson.

We really do kind of need that. Anyone have Sam’s number that can move this along a bit?

A few short weeks ago, I was in the hospital with my mom after she had a stroke. I didn’t think I could be more scared or more worried.

Wow, again, I was so wrong.

My sister, who lives with my parents, is a healthcare worker. She will be exposed. She will likely become infected. I am so sad and so scared.

We are isolating, so I can only talk to my mom on the phone. I can’t see her. I can’t hug her. I am terrified that I will never get to again. I wish so bad I could clearly remember the last hug I got from my mom, but I can’t. Not really. I should have paid attention.

This is why I am writing this post. I am begging you to stay at home.

I don’t give a fuck what the stupid president says. If there is any way you can isolate, please do. Please do.

The healthcare workers won’t be able to pull this off if we don’t help them. We can help them by staying put.

Maybe people isolating will save my mom. Or your mom. Or our whoever.

We’re all at risk.

If you are cooped up? Make some art.

Just make art. Sing. Laugh. Cry.

But stay the fuck home.


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  • With no car, we pretty much self-isolate voluntarily. But we do have to go to the grocery store tomorrow. There’s no getting around the fact that the fresh food has disappeared both in our home and in the stores. My only worry (besides the obvious) is that there will be no cabs available. Whether they don’t want to risk picking us up (old folks), or if they just aren’t picking up in general, this is a scary time. Delivery is iffy and you can’t take advantage of sale prices. And if they’re out of stuff, ordering on-line won’t make a difference.

    I hope you and everyone aware (or even the stupid ones) is (are) taking care of themselves. And if at all possible – stay the heck inside. ( And to the boy I saw on t.v. swearing that it’s Spring Break and he’s not going anywhere, (we’ve closed all of our beaches), go the hell home, get a jug of cheap wine and masturbate, and you might live to go on Spring Break next year.)

  • It’s good to hear from you again, I’ve been thinking about you and hoping you were OK.
    As it’s been snowing hard for four days now, we aren’t going anywhere. Well, with a little luck we might make it to town tomorrow for some groceries.
    Last week Zsuzs shoveled our car free so we could drive to town for groceries and man, it looked like the pillagers had beat us to the food. Well, it looked that way, but we ended up coming back with everything we set out to get, it just took three stores to get it all.
    While we were walking out of the third store with the last of our items we heard a woman who was checking out burst into tears and say “Oh my god, I’ve lost my card” three or four times before the cashier told her not to worry about it, they had her covered.
    Maybe we will make it through this after all.

  • I would love to stay home. I’m an essential transportation employee. I keep the radios working on the buses. Most of us in the garage are worried. 4 have been quarantined already. A couple are on indefinite sick and refuse to work.

    People ride the bus. Most are not going to get groceries or doctors, most are looking to have fun. Ridership has gone up. It’s nuts.

By Michelle


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