It’s not that I don’t appreciate my vehicle and the freedom driving affords me. It’s not like I totally take for granted that I get to have climate control in a machine that takes me to get ice cream, bourbon, bourbon, or take out food. Although, and I hate to quibble, when the outside temperature turns extra hot or cold, it does take a few minutes for the inside of my car to be tolerable.
That’s not my complaint. My complaint is you other people completely ruin the driving experience.
Sure, an argument could be made other people have reasons as good as mine to be hogging up the roads, but have you actually listened to yourselves? Are you being whiny about your reasons? Selfish, perhaps? There is a finite amount of fossil fuel, are you really considering your usage when you are out and about and getting in my way?
I appreciate that, with a flick of my finger, I can fill my interior with pleasing sounds. One would think that soothing music in a climate controlled area would take away the sting of having to deal with the other commuters, but it so much doesn’t.
Often, you drive too slow.
You wait on side streets until I get close. Then, you pull out in front of me and drive too slow. I don’t know of any song or air conditioning unit in the world could lessen my irritation when someone slows me down. If only you had waited 10 freaking seconds, you could have puttered along without slowing anyone else down. Well, you might have slowed down the people behind me. But really, I can’t be expected to worry about that.
You’re the same people who drive on the interstate and tool along in far left lane. How is it that so many of you don’t know what the far left lane is for? It’s for passing. I don’t care if I need that lane to pass or not. Just seeing another driver driving along under the speed limit in the far left lane can suck all the joy and wonder out of the fact that I am mobile and free to move about at will.
It’s not just the people who move too slow, although, mostly it’s the people who move too slow.
For instance, sitting at a traffic light. If you are first in line, then it is your duty to watch that light without even blinking. You must move forward the very second it turns green. If you can’t handle that responsibility, perhaps you should pull over and let someone else (me) take over the job. It’s kind of like sitting at the emergency exit on airplanes. If you can’t perform the duties, then move to the back of the line.
Something else you have taken from me is the proper meaning of the phrase ‘take your time’. I ceased using that phrase in any way other than sarcastically. As in, please, take your time, the light only turned green 20 freaking seconds ago. I’m sure the text you’re sending will create a positive outcome to a live or death situation.
I resent the fact that you other drivers very often reduce me to begging. Can we please just go the speed limit? How about that? Just the speed limit.
For all that is holy, when you are turning, just turn your car.
It’s not necessary to slow down to a near stop half a mile before your turn and you don’t have to come to a complete stop before you actually make your turn. If you aren’t completely committed to making your turn, perhaps you should spend a little more time planning your outings.
If you aren’t driving too slow, then you’re driving like someone slipped a laxative in your coffee and you need to find a toilet right now. I do appreciate when you drive the speed limit, even a little over the speed limit is good. Okay, over the speed limit is preferable, but be reasonable. Don’t weave and put my life in danger just because you’re trying to shave a few minutes off your commute.
At least, the speeders are out of the way quickly.
You people who can’t keep a consistent speed, we all know you’re texting.
Your car weaves all over the place, your speed fluctuates between 20 miles under the speed limit to 10 miles over every mile, and you are looking at your crotch. You people who text while driving on the interstate piss me off more than all the other drivers combined. I am of the opinion, if you text and drive, you should have to get a tattoo of Hitler on your forehead.
You park where I want to park, and you pull in the fast food drive thru ahead of me proceeding to order enough food to feed a starving pack of honey badgers, or two teenagers. All I want, is a damn cup of coffee. It would have taken 20 seconds to order. But no, I have to wait for you and your 16 happy meals, all of which have special instructions.
Even worse, when you pull in the bank drive thru ahead of me and conduct transactions so complicated that the only reasonable explanation is that you are attempting a hostile takeover. If your banking transactions take up most of a lunch hour, then park your car, and go inside. The same goes for the pharmacy. If you are picking up your drugs and you want to play 20 questions with the pharmacist, then park and go inside.
Sometimes, the problems with cars isn’t the other people.
For instance, the gas tank constantly has to be refilled and sometimes my husband forgets to do that and I am forced to. I’ve had mornings that I’ve walked into work with eu de unleaded splashed on my wrists.
Although, even filling the gas tank can be made unpleasant by the general public. You’re always parked at the pumps in such a way that I have to circle the lot in order to get a pump that is on the gas tank side of my car.
Heaven forbid, I actually go into the convenience store. You all can’t just pay for your gas and maybe a few convenience items and move on, can you? Nope, you wait until you are in front of me to conduct the most complicated lottery transactions known to man. I hear these transactions and I’m torn, on the one hand, stop throwing your money away, on the other, kudos for having such a complicated and lengthy process for throwing your money away. I can only assume that you took classes at a community college in advanced lottery ticket buying.
I believe, if all the other drivers took a moment to think about their selfish behaviors, then my driving experience would be more pleasant. Here’s your chance to be a better person, to make the world a better place and to just stop getting in my way.