Did you guys know there is a dating site for clowns?
I don’t mean people who act goofy or people who are assclowns. I mean the big nose and oversized shoes and seltzer water flower motherfucking CLOWNS.
Randy sent me a Buzzfeed article (By the way, Buzzfeed is the shit) about very specific matchmaking sites and while they are all very specific, I found the one for clowns the most fascinating.
I had to look it up. How can you NOT be curious about a dating site for clowns?
I didn’t delve too deep into the site because I already am not sleeping very well, even with my new friend Ambien. I truly didn’t want to have fucking Bozo and Ronald McDonald carving people up and then making waffles together in my dreams. Not that my dreams would be about THAT..they might actually be something weird.
I suspect the questions to find your mate on Find A Clown To Fuck (or whatever it’s called. It should be called Find A Clown To Fuck) would include the following:
- How many people can you fit in your car?
- Do you use buckets exclusively for water?
- Can you fit two dogs and three cats down the front of your pants?
- Do you have a closet exclusively for storing your rainbow colored suspenders?
- Are you always crying on the inside?
- Do you scare the fuck out of little kids?
At this point, I’m glad that my readership is relatively small because I’m sure this is very offensive to the clown community. If by chance, someone reading now is a clown and I’ve offended you, I am very sorry and promise to honk my nose three times in penance.
SERIOUSLY! There is a dating site for CLOWNS!
As it turns out..I AM NOT THAT FUCKING WEIRD!
I did look at the site though and it’s possible I posted a link on Facebook, but that’s not my fault.
I had to post the link. I have a friend who really hates clowns and since I adore her, I often post scary pictures of clowns for her. At bedtime. I thought this would be a welcome change. Although, personally, I find the scary clown pictures less disturbing.