Here goes the second round of Twitter regurgitation; just in case you missed these pearls before. So, what are your opinions of this experiment? Should I continue posting these? Let me know in the comment section.

• We’ve secretly replaced Michelle’s xanax with ritalin…let’s see what happens. ->
• Just fucking tell me what you need. Dipshit. ->
• User sends me a long chain of emails and then says…HELP ME!!! What the actual fuck, dude. I’m not reading all that shit. ->
• my predictive text on my phone has turned my phone into a dirty little whore. ->
• Okay, I have to write this code. Y’all talk about boring shit for a while. You can discuss the weather and sports and Nancy Grace. ->
• In the 70s, we said ‘for real’ all the time. It’s funny to hear my 15 year old say ‘for realz’ We really don’t change much, do we? ->
• TWITTERVERSE ACTIVATE: Anyone watch the netflix show Hemlock Grove? Thoughts? ->
• I’ve traumatized my hot chick work friend. She accidentally brushed against someone’s junk. I told her that was in his spank bank now. ->
• I could use a nap, some chicken wire, explosives and a nutter butter ->
• The last time I went to my laser hair removal thingy, I stole some numbing cream. I completely broke bad. Yo. ->
• my goddamn uvula is acting up again. ->
• My oatmeal packet said ‘natural grain’ I read it as ‘black rain’ and my dick subconscious launched immediately into ‘purple rain’. ->
• Go make me some healthy oatmeal and make it taste like cotton candy and victory, okay? ->
• People are on edge at work and I’m letting it affect me WAY too much. Their problems are not my problems. Fuckers. ->
• I have to work ALL the days this week. Well, the normal days. Mon – Fri. I left early Monday and yesterday. And will on Friday. But still.. ->
• Since I started running again, I’ve been dreaming a lot about zombies. ->
• #replacemovietitlewithbong what’s the first rule of bong club? No idea. Wanna make waffles and corn? ->
• #replacemovietitlewithbong the eternal sunshine of a spotless bong ->
• #replacemovietitlewithbong One bong over the cuckoos nest ->
• #replacemovietitlewithbong Bang the bong slowly ->
• It’s been fun…but I’m exhausted. I hope you all dream of fluffy bunnies and rootbeer floats. ->
• Every morning when I have coffee it’s like an itty bitty Christmas. ->
• So many things polarize us as humans, but I think we can all agree that everyone should do as I say. ->
• Tonite feels very much like last night, except I didn’t throw a tantrum. My family is grateful. And making fun of me. assholes. ->
• My superpower is not killing anyone. ->
• I kinda like a superhero. ->
• If there was ANY day that I don’t want to work out, it would be today. Therefore, I am going to work out, which means I can do anything. ->
• Personally, I think it’s ENDEARING to refer to your child as ‘factory reject monkey boy’ ->
• well, my dick subconscious decided it’s classic rock day and my internal juke box is playing Only Rock And Roll by the Stones. ->
• Just an observation…but I’d say humans are fucked. ->
• Robert Downey Jr says: Try not to kill anyone. ->
• I finally looked at my archived tweets. In the beginning..I used to * out letters in the words shit and fuck. HAHAHAHA…what a pussy I was. ->
• Truthful Tuesday: I learned that I am capable of having a tantrum that any two year old would be proud of. ->
• Okay. It’s possible that I should have taken that xanax MUCH earlier today. ->
• why does losing your marbles mean crazy? They’re small, I bet people lost their marbles all the time and didn’t lose their shit. ->
• So, it’s normal to become hysterical over your new phone and because you can’t find any clean underwear and cry yourself to sleep, right? ->
• I’m annoyed, but not ‘yeast infection’ annoyed. ->
• Just DO it. I don’t ask you people for much. ->
• I just used the word ‘uncomfortableness’ instead of ‘discomfort’. I think I win Monday. ->
• I would make Jed Clampett proud ->
• Hey! I know! Why don’t y’all come to my house tomorrow. I’ll make us breakfast before work. ->
• All my omelettes turn into scrambles. ->
• Wonder if ‘I’m giving my inner child a time out’ is an acceptable reason to go home for the day? ->
• My inner child is throwing a tantrum. Kids are like that when they’re tired. ->