Things I Wish I Could Change For People Who Struggle With Weight Loss

I can’t change anything for people who struggle with weight loss, but I can sure as hell bitch about it. In fact, if I could get paid for bitching, I’d be rich. I’m good at it.

The other thing I can do, is when I see or hear people acting in a disrespectful way toward overweight people, I can call them out on it. And I do.

Here is the first thing I would change:

  1. Other people. I am so fucking tired of other people with their snotty, supercilious, superior attitudes. Probably some other ‘S’ words as well, but I can’t think of any at the moment. Show me one single person who can say that they have no insecurities or no emotional issues and I will show you a big, fat liar. For those of us who struggle with weight loss, well, we have insecurities, issues, and difficulties and the whole world gets to see them on our ass. 

I honestly believe it would be easier to lose weight if we didn’t have to worry about the size of our ass being judged. It’s a vicious cycle. You want to look down your nose at me because I shop at the fat girl store? Fuck you. Watch me eat this Twinkie motherfucker.

  1. Clothes. Seriously, how fucking hard can it be to make some decently priced, pretty clothes for bigger girls? I know there are specialty shops, but how the fuck is the average big girl supposed to pay specialty shop prices? Yeah, sure, bigger girls require more material, but it’s not that much more fucking material. You know why the crappy ass clothes at most of the big girl shops cost so much? Because there’s no other choice. It’s our tax. You want something to wear? I guess you will pay 45.00 for a cheap ass T shirt. And you won’t fucking complain because you got no choice. Unless you want to get all your clothes from Walmart. Well, guess what. Walmart clothes suck.

Oh..and here’s a little observation for the fat girl stores. Changing the sizes to a 1 or a 2 or a 3 does not make those pants anything other than a 14, 16 or 18. The sizes are what they are. Don’t try to convince us that playing games with the size means any fucking thing. It doesn’t. In fact, and I can only speak for myself, I find it mildly insulting. This is one arena where men have it right. How many inches around is the waist and how many inches long are the legs? That’s the size. Period.

  1. Our own damn selves. I know that I can’t possibly speak for everyone with weight to lose. I’m sure there are circumstances that I don’t understand or haven’t had to deal with. With that being said, for most of us, our issues with weight have to do with our thinking.

The more difficult life gets, the easier it is to not make good food choices. The more life kicks us in the nuts, the easier it is to watch TV and not work out. There’s never enough money. Something is always broken. Cars, dishwashers, central air units. Medical bills are always harping away. Then there are the never ending cubicle years. You know what makes all that feel better? Goddamn cake.

  1. Other people. Oh, I mentioned this one already? Well, I think it bears repeating. Is it acceptable to poke fun of other people based on race, religion, handicap or sexual orientation? Of course not. Oh, it happens, I hear it all the time, but it’s quiet. Or only spoken among those like minded friends. But fat people? Well,hell! There’s no need to whisper. Making fun of fat people is almost acceptable. Judging fat people is perfectly fine! Because you assholes passing the judgment know everything there is to know about that person you are looking down your nose at, right? You know their medical history and you know where all their emotional scars are and how deep they run, right? Oh! You don’t? You don’t need to? You already know what their problem is, they need to eat less and exercise and stop being lazy fucks who are just asking to be fat.

Yeah. Fuck you. Ask anyone who is carrying around a noticeable amount of extra weight how happy they are to look the way they look. Ask them how easy it is to change. For those of you who have never struggled or never had an issue with weight gain, you do not know what you are talking about. Therefore, you should shut the fuck up. And be nice. How fucking hard it it just just be nice? Here’s a rule. This is a good rule. In fact, I firmly believe that if we all followed this rule a whole shit ton of the world’s problems would cease to be. Here it is: Don’t be a dick.

Now wish me luck.

I’m down 8 pounds so far.

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  • You know which part I hate? The part where clothing manufacturers always assume there are some huge boobs to go along with the belly and butt. All I want is a shirt that doesn’t cling to my rolls and crevices but still covers my chest.

    And good luck.

  • I’m really over fat shaming people (probably because midlife is adding extra weight by the minute to my waistline.) Let’s just let everyone be responsible for their own health and weight and idea of beauty and mind our own business. Too many people have too much to say – I blame the yummie mummies!

  • Congrats on the 8lbs!
    It’s the processed food they sell that has limited nutritional value…all those empty carbs that stimulate our brains to crave more and more.

  • I do hope you Feel a wee bit better now ?!!! Fuck I do and that’s just reading it !!!
    getting that lot of your chest you must have lost at least 8 more pounds !! I’ve lost 4 just looking for more S words

  • The sizing changes over the years really drive me nuts. Who thought a size 0 makes sense? What total bullshit. Have they done this in men’s clothing? Specialty stores for heavier shoppers. Who the fuck thought that was a good idea? It’s mind boggling that this shit continues. The entire clothing industry is a dick.
    Good job on the -8. I’m not sure I’ll ever lose my Welcome to Mentalpause +12. Probably because I haven’t exercised in, um, 2015.

  • I agree with you totally. I love the way thinner people look down on people that are a little more fluffy. I know find myself a little more fluffy these days (actually more fluffy). But here is the deal. Those people that you think don’t work at keeping themselves thin do. They lie if the say they don’t. They don’t want people to know that they also struggle and deny themselves. I was also skinny till recently, but things don’t always go in life as one would want. So I can be depressed because people that know me are saying behind my back, ” woo look at her, she is gaining weight”. Well bite me. Mind your own business, I was thin and still know that thin people are just as unhappy as anyone else if not more. Lose weigh for your health not for the other bitches. You can be skinny on the outside, and a disgusting person on the inside. Just be you. You are beautiful, I can tell I read your blog. <3

  • I. Am. Fat. I’ve tried so many diets that it’s ridiculous but they never made me happy. I even got down to a size 8, I was fit, exercised regularly and then I got a prolapsed disc. Now my spine is crumbling and I can barely walk so fuck anyone who says I need to be thin. I’m gonna eat cake and enjoy it. People should butt the hell out and mind their own damn business.
    I’m so glad you wrote this post. Do what makes YOU happy and let them eat cake!

    • I do want to lose some weight, but mostly because I want to stay as active as I can for as long as I can. And I am not denying myself everything. Just in small doses. 🙂

  • I grew up in an all-female family and then had various female roommates for years and have worked in female-dominated professions. Women spend so much time and energy worrying about their appearance (weight just being one of many issues of appearance that occupy our gender). It’s unfortunate. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with so much negative energy on this matter from individuals and from culture-based sources. All my best to you.

  • I’ve never been fat, but I have the tummy of a 600 lb. woman. People tell me it’s “stress fat.” Whatever. It’s still FAT! I’m going to look into Melissa McCarthy’s line of clothing for tops that cover the bulge that makes me look 18 months pregnant! And I honestly wish people would STOP hating people for the way they look! I keep thinking our world is progressing, but I’m beginning to think that our progress is only in electronics. Oh, and greed.

  • I have learned to accept my body the way it is now that I’m in my 50’s, but it isn’t always easy. Most of my friends are slim, and sometimes I feel big next to them – but then I remember how hard they work to look that way, how little they eat and how much they exercise, and I stop feeling uncomfortable. Fortunately for me, they have never made me feel less-than because I weigh more-than.

  • I have the big boobs, big stomach and NO ass. Try finding clothes that fit that figure. If it fits around the waist it looks like I could fit another 2 people in the hip area. Try on a dress that covers the “girls” and it fits like a tent. The clothing industry needs to their heads out of their asses and make clothes for all sizes and shapes!!!!!

    Stepping off soapbox and getting more caffeine with lots of sugar and cream, LOL!

  • Somehow I ended up working with not one, but 4 guys that can’t gain weight. When it was only the one guy, he was quiet about it. But when it became a tribe, they compare notes on what it takes to gain a single pound.
    From this I learned three things. 1) it is apparently just as frustrating to be unable to gain weight as being unable to lose weight. 2) I really hate listening to people discuss how much food they had to eat yesterday. 3) I eat more when I got out to lunch with these guys.

  • Let’s add more insult to injury shall we? Let’s talk about walking into a store to buy clothing and the “fat girls” clothing is a tiny section behind the maternity clothing that you have to walk through to get to. Or what about the movies that have to share their satirical scenes to poke fun at the morbidly obese. It is all a great recipe for the fat shaming that exist or that is being created. Just look at that stupid fucking cunt who made a youtube video shaming us.
    Do you want to know why I feel uncomfortable the way I look? Because all my life I have been convinced that the fatter you are the more unattractive, lazy, and stupid you get….

      • Because I grew up being large I developed many insecurities. I had family members poke fun at me…. (I can tell you who later is you want) I am a basketcase when it comes to raising my three children. I do not want them to grow up hating school because they are made fun of incessantly because they are overweight children. I am no fun when it comes to teaching them how to make healthy choices haha….though I sometimes feel hypocritical but you know what my kids are? Healthy and athletic……not to mention beautiful but that’s not because they are under, over, or average weight they are just fuckibg gorgeous haha

  • Yes, to all of this…From someone who *used* to be thin and now has 30 effing pounds that will NOT come off.

    I’m down, um…one

    *clinks glass (of water)*

    *crumply smile*

  • OMG, if clothing manufacturers could agree on a fucking sizing schedule the world might stop spinning. If I am in a fourteen in one brand I expect to be in a goddamn fourteen in a different brand. Because you know what I hate? Having to do the Walk of Fat Shame back out to the racks to find a larger size. Or worse, if I’ve gone ahead and bought something based on size and then find out it doesn’t actually fit, the Wait of Fat Shame (and corresponding Snarky Eyebrow Arch from Bored Teen in Returns).


  • I’m glad you repeated “Other People” twice because whatever your personal reasons for dealing with weight they’re a tiny fraction of what other people are dumping on you from the price of clothes to the “jokes” to unwanted–and unneeded–medical advice. I remember the first time I saw Louie Anderson perform. He did a bunch of fat jokes about himself and said he was doing them so the audience wouldn’t sit there and wonder, “Does he know he’s that big?” It was funny, but it wasn’t really funny until years later when I realized he was saying, “Yes, people are that fucking stupid.”

  • You lost 8 lbs Michelle? I think I know where they are. Right on my big fat ass.

    (I think it was Janeane Garofalo who once said she only wears stretch pants. She stretches them from a 10/12 to a 14/16.)

    Congrats on the weight loss though! I know it’s not easy.

    And Christopher, you are so right about people giving unwanted and unneeded medical advice. Cheesus, when you go through a health scare, suddenly everyone you know is a fuckin medical expert. And I can’t even tell you how many times I heard “Think Positive” and “Don’t worry!” Are you fucking kidding me? How ’bout we transplant the six-inch-might-be-cancer-mass from my abdomen into yours and let’s see how happy slappy YOU are.

    Telling a person with an anxiety order (Hi, my name is Karen) not to worry is like telling a depressed person to “just cheer up.” You might as well go poke a bear, because you’re gonna’ get slapped.

    • Right? CHEER UP!!! Oooookay….SUCK MY DICK!!!

      I am averaging 2 lbs a week and it is motherfucking hard. I really started doing this because of my thyroid issue I’m having with my medication…I’m afraid if I don’t address it now, I’ll be packing on weight soon.

  • It’s crazy, even for us that don’t really struggle with weight, they try to fool us. Now we have size 0, 00, 000. Yes, triple zero! This lack of good clothing choices for overweight people, older people, people with limited income, that’s one reason why I’m doing what I’m doing. And yes, yeah, people accepting people for what they are? What a concept. My husband and I remind each other everyday, just go out there, and don’t be a dick. You rule. Anita

  • YES YES YES !!!!!! I totally agree with this post. My philosophy is from Bambi and Thumper – if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. The world would be a much better place if our two philosophies were practiced !!!
    Well done on the 8lb down – that’s great. My weight is a mix of hormone crap, eating the wrong things and not exercising. I made a decision to get fit and healthy before I turned 50 – sadly that didn’t happen so now I working on getting fit and healthy before I turn 60 !!
    Have a great sleep xox

      • I can’t tell you how many times I’ve managed to get into decent shape and then it all turns to shit – it’s a bugger when that happens and I really want to know why it happens – surely when we have a shit together it should stay together ??? LOL

  • Yeah, I’m so tired of clothes that are so baggy that they make me look like a little girl playing dress up, or avoiding things with buttons as they always gape but if I buy the next size up it is like a tent.
    They also seem to think that bigger sizes should also be a foot longer, which as I’m 5ft 2 is really helpful!!!

    Also attempting to lose some weight, well done you for losing 8lbs already. I don’t know how much I’ve lost as I refuse to own scales. I gauge by how baggy my clothes are. Hopefully I’ll get back into my fave jeans again soon!

  • OK, I’m male and not overweight (although when they weighed me at the doctor’s office today, they said that I had gained back all of the weight they told me I’d lost last time), so I hope I don’t end up with my foot in my mouth here…
    But why aren’t there more clothes choices for larger women? I mean, look around, there are a LOT of them. Don’t they all have to wear clothes too? And aren’t clothes manufacturers in the business of selling clothes? It seems like they would do better trying to serve the actual market than trying to browbeat an imaginary one into existence, but maybe I’m expecting too much of them by assuming that their behavior must make sense on some level…
    And congratulations on the eight pounds. I’ve seen what a struggle that can be, and here’s wishing you good luck in achieving your goals.

  • You just made my day. I needed to read something like this. Congratulations of the 8-lb. loss. It is hard. I’ve lost weight over and over and over again. Clothes are a big issue. I am 5’9″ and fat There I said it. I’m fat. It seems like you can’t be tall and fat at the same time. I don’t really have big boobs but I am big around my back and chest. Bras for bigger women are stupid. I don’t even have any idea what cup size I am anymore. Did they change the sizing on bras too when they did on the regular clothes? Well have fun everyone. This just made me feel so much better to hear everyone sound off on a subject dear to my heart. I’m 70 years old and would like to lose weight, but I tell you what. If I was diagnosed with an incurable disease, I would stop trying to lose weight and stuff myself with anything I wanted, anytime I wanted. Heaven forbid should that happen.

  • I had a vertical gastric sleeve done in June. I am down 56 pounds as of this morning.
    For the first time in two decades, I can actually shop in the “normal” sections…it made me realize just how freaking pitiful the “plus” section is. Also? Why is the plus section usually always crammed into some out-of-the-way spot? If more than half of the country is obese…which what “they” always say…why aren’t clothing sellers all over providing for that shit?

    BTW, speaking of that…thanks for the words of encouragement when the nasty troll was ugly to me on my blog post where I talked about the surgery. I would have loved to have seen the profanity-riddled first comment, though. 🙂

  • This brought a ton of stuff out as I was reading it. The one thing I hate (besides everything you listed) is that food retailers love to jack up the price on healthy options. For instance, if you want to buy regular potato chips…no problem, they can usually be found somewhere for a reasonable price. But God forbid if you would rather buy low-fat chips — they are never on sale and the price is twice as high! It makes shopping on a budget difficult (and yes, I realize that I could just not buy chips at all — or ice cream, or bread, or cake and that would be a healthier option and more conducive to weight loss in general — but I also believe it’s more sensible to not “diet” and to instead find a lifestyle and food plan you can be happy with long term — and that includes “unhealthy” food from time to time — so, dammit, quit jacking up the prices when I attempt to at least choose healthier unhealthy items!

    We had to take some specialized training at work because they are opening up a new bariatric clinic downstairs. They wanted to make sure everyone treated the patients with respect and dignity — and I found it interesting that many of the people who were in the training looked at obesity as a problem that the patient brought on themselves and, as such, they felt justified in being judgmental and non-compassionate. These were also the same people who felt that way about patients who had drug problems or illnesses related to weight, drug use, or tobacco use. Apparently, they feel it is okay to have life threatening conditions….but only if it was a crazy act of God and only if the patient was in excellent shape and only ate and drank organic items and exercised 20 times a week.

    Weight loss is hard — I’ve been working on it since January and I’m down 16 pounds with 40+ to go. At this rate, I’ll reach my goal weight about the time I’m eligible for Medicare.

  • I never tolerate people shaming others over anything and is it me or is it really out of control these days?
    I was always the skinny one, size 2 most of my life until menopause, gall bladder surgery and quitting smoking. I gained 35 pounds and actually felt sort of normal for the first time in my life until I walked onto the beach and a relative (bitch) said under her breath, she got so heavy. I wanted to beat the crap out of her and hide in a corner and cry at the same time.
    You are so right, cake does make everything better.

  • I have three patients now, two who have had gastric bypass and one who has had the gastric sleeve procedure. And I have worked with several others in the past. I am going to print this out and give it to them Michelle! The struggles they have had are incredible – and I have gotten to glimpse into what they have had to deal with all their lives. Not just from the general public. But from family. That can be the worst. Good luck on whatever journey you are on Michelle. I remember meeting you last year, and I think you are delightful. Just the way you are.

  • Love this! So many excellent points and I can soooo relate.

    Before I got married I dieted and exercised like crazy to get back to my then normal size 12. No luck. Antidepressant meds made it impossible. Extra weight is not always due to uncontrolled gluttony, assholes! Anyway, I was trying to find a size 14 wedding dress, and those awful women at the stores were terrible to me. One said “You don’t actually expect to have many choices at your size, do you?” People in the “wedding industry” who are also fat shamers make the most perfect assholes. Lucky for me, my sister and best friend made my dress and it was just what I wanted for 1/25 the price.

    My other pet peeve: how funny people think they are when they say that overweight people are just begging for Diabetes. Yes, that’s right, we hate ourselves so much and lack control in all parts of our lives, that we do want to get Diabetes and other diseases. That absolutely makes sense.

    Isn’t it sad how famous overweight people have to make fun of themselves so that others won’t do it first? I love SNL, but I hate how they always have a few heavy members in the troop who seem to be there just to be made fun of. Doesn’t matter how talented they might be, their job is to be the butt of fat jokes and take them with a smile.

    Good luck, Sweetie. 8 pounds is very impressive no matter how long it took you. Your motives for weight loss are the right ones.

    • FUCKING ASSHOLES. How horrible to be treated that way while planning your wedding.

      Thank you. I’m still doing pretty good. I just haven’t been able to (or really willing to) eliminate sugar from my coffee. Fuck that. Don’t fuck with my coffee.

  • Good for you! Just keep going. I’m fighting this battle, too, and I can tell you, eventually the exercise isn’t so exhausting. Eventually, it actually feels good. And then it’s a win-win: losing weight, plus you get to exercise. I’m not giving up my coffee sugar, either. Choices. 🙂

    • OH, I know…I’ve done it before. I actually LIKE the sore muscle feeling…in a weird way. Right now, I’m still just in the exhausted phase. And I’m older…but I’m pushing on. Just shy of 10 pounds now YAY! 50 to go.

  • I am a big fan of calorie counting. I think it is useful and very important in trying to lose weight. I am a firm believer that weight loss is 80% diet and 20% exercise. So often people complain that they can’t lose weight when the truth is they are overeating and have no clue or are just choosing to not have a clue. Even overeating healthy foods can derail weight loss.

  • THANK YOU SO MUCH! I laughed so hard and appreciated your post more than any I have read in awhile. Thanks for saying exactly how I feel all the time. I especially hate the fat girls that fat shame other fat girls…. you know the ones that say they love their bodies and they are beautiful the way they are and then insult someone like me that is so completely miserable and unhappy. I am ashamed that I actually let it get to me, but just the other day a large woman who ran a stop sign and almost hit me who had stopped, called me a fat B as she sped away…. my only thought was “who are you calling fat”…. so frustrating. I feel like our world that has basically freaked out about TOLERANCE is still completely intolerant of big people. Anyway, I really appreciated your spot on, tell it like it is post! Keep it real always.

By Michelle


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