I guess it is time to make popcorn

I love popcorn, but it doesn’t love me. I don’t eat popcorn often, but when I do, I shovel it in like a machine and then I’m sick to my stomach for a day. Or two.

But that isn’t the point here.

You know, when you’re watching a movie, like a rom com and the particular movie will start out with the heroine going about her business, kicking life in the ass. She’s making plans. She has a goal. Everything is coming up roses.

Until it isn’t.

A series of events unfold and everything falls apart.

Then the movie starts.

That is when the movie gets good. That is when you need your popcorn, settle in, and wait to see how everything works out and gets tied up in a neat little bow.

I feel like that is my life right now. Well, not the “tied up in neat little bow” part or the “everything works out” part. I’m at the “series of events unfold” part.

I had a plan. We were moving in the right direction. If the right direction is being able to retire at least somewhat comfortably in 2.5 years. Which works out great for me as I am currently in the biggest and most difficult project in my 35+ years in IT.

The culmination of this project will result in the end of my job. We are moving from the only server I’ve ever worked on to a new platform with an ERP system written in a computer language that you don’t need a stone tablet and a chisel to write it.

I am working super hard right now to end my job. But that is fine, because when I wrap up with project from hell, my reward will be retirement.

Certainly not a fancy or extravagant retirement, but a doable one. Randy and I aren’t fancy or extravagant people. All we needed to do was pay off all of our current debt (excluding mortgage) by March of next year. Then pay off as much of the house as we can while I’m still getting the paycheck I’m getting. Most of the big things that can break in a house have broken, so we don’t have to worry about roofs, stoves, hot water heaters, plumbing in the bathroom, subpar electrical work in the kitchen or refrigerators. I wish we could have gotten the deck redone, but that isn’t a necessity.

I’m not going to lie, the plan had no wiggle room. It didn’t allow for vacations or indiscriminate spending at TJ Maxx. And Doordash has got to go. We were going to have to really pay attention to what we were spending and make some adjustments.

Well, what happens when you make a plan with no wiggle room? It’s not fucking wiggles you have to worry about. It’s the waves. It’s the T-rex stomping through the forest and then on your plans. That is what you have to worry about. No wiggle room is goddamn adorable.

Were we expecting losing a big chunk of our income? No we were not.

These things happen though.

Losing the income doesn’t change our day to day life. We’re fine. We will work it out and replace that income. Eventually.

But the plan is time sensitive and while I don’t know what will happen in the future, it is possible that this job will end and I won’t be able to leave the workforce just quite yet.

I don’t think I can adequately describe how much I don’t want that to happen. I started hating change in my mid forties. I don’t want to start a new job when the plan was retirement.

I wrote recently about letting go of our cat Alfie. We still miss him so much. Sometimes I see him in the hall or feel him jump on to the bed to cuddle in my armpit.

I also said that we were considering getting a friend for or other kitty, Gertie.

Well, we did. Not Momo, but a little tabby floofball we named Bea.

Bea (also known as Beeboop, Beebop, Bee girl, and stink butt because damn) is the sweetest little kitty. She is affectionate and loves to be held, which is not something Alfie or Gertie likes. Alfie would tolerate it. Gertie fucking hates to be picked up. After 7 years, she has just gotten to the point where she will sit on my son Joey’s lap.

We had Bea for 2 days when she went from bouncing around like a ping pong ball, to throwing up and constant diarrhea. She could barely lift her little head. You all, I didn’t think she was going to live.

We took her to the vet for 3 days in a row. She got x-rays, shots,and medicine. We had her for 3 days and 3 days after that, we were in debt over $1000.00. Which, you know, really doesn’t fit into the plan. Paying off the debt was the plan. Adding to the debt was a huge no-no in the plan.

We never actually determined what was wrong with Bea. We just know that one day last week, she perked up and announced “I AM OKAY NOW!”  She announced that by racing around like she was on crack and attacking Randy’s feet.

I can’t tell you how grateful I am that she is okay. None of us were prepared for letting go of two cats.

So yeah, now I need to make popcorn because I have to say, I am really curious how this is going to work out for our heroine. Who is directing this movie? Rob Reiner or Quentin Tarantino? Will that poor woman have to start a new job where she will probably be the oldest person there? And how will she humiliate herself in front of new people, because you know that shit is going to happen. Her plan is kind of fucked, how is that going to work out?

At least she has that adorable kitten. And there were no John Wick moments.

I really am more curious than upset. I was upset for a day. This is life and we have a lot to be grateful for and just because my “no wiggle room” plan didn’t work, doesn’t mean the “not quite as awesome but way more wiggle room” plan won’t work.

Okay, I was upset for 2 days. Maybe, 3.

Also, Bea and Gertie are most certainly not friends. Not at all. We’re hoping that changes. I’m not sure what is in the script for this, but I’m hoping it isn’t John Carpenter directing their role in the movie. Zombie Bea would be scary.

Edited to add: Randy just texted me. The dryer broke down. For fuck’s sake. 





18 Thoughts.

  1. Hey Girl, you are few and far between. You know what I mean.
    Miss you when you are between.
    And few.
    Some boxer or other said, “Everyone got a plan till they get
    punched in the face.”
    Not The Boxer, “We are just some old girlz whose stories’ seldom told, ” but that resonates too.
    Glad you got Bea back up and running, and that Gertie, Main Cat of the cat-com, will kick some
    Bea-Assitude when she requires it.

  2. I don’t know anyone who ever took a pet into a Vet office for a ‘routine’ visit for $X.00 and didn’t come out paying at least twice that. There’s always something else required. And the emergency visits – wow. There goes the 401K.
    I’m glad Bea is doing well – did they ever come up with a diagnosis? And it’s OK if she and Gertie never get alone (my Fang hated Blaze for as long as he lived. But would share a bed if necessary).
    And you know the old saying – “The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft a-gley.”

  3. With her so young, can you get Pet Insurance? I know it’s pricey on older pets, but she’s still a kitten. They don’t pay everything, but at least you get some of your money back.

  4. Vets cost a lot and when it cost a lot any you don’t get answers it is annoying. I often feel like my life is here, there and everywhere but really nowhere at all.

  5. Good luck on the big project and I’m glad your cat is doing better. I didn’t even have a plan when it got blowed up anyway, sixteen years ago. Now we do kind of have a plan, and funding it is proving to be tricky, but all of those years making whatever income came in work has given me a little bit of confidence that we can somehow get Briana’s inherited property in Miranda to become our home. She is working on it a lot and progress is being made. Plot twists? What plot twists?
    The blogger, Jenny O, that I mentioned last time, has two cats that can’t even be in the same room together, and has managed to make that work for a long time. Cats can just sometimes be assholes to each other, and then sort of just get over it. That’s what happened when we moved into Beth’s house in Rohnert Park with Little Beast, and Raven’s cat Molly already lived there. The growling and hissing gradually turned into scampering around the back yard together. Little Beast still growls at the neighbor’s cat, though, so perhaps he’s just a little prick…

  6. I’m convinced what you’re going through is being directed by Edgar Wright. Shit will get dark, it will get weird, and yet in spite of all that it will be funny. You’ll put that unpopped popcorn in the microwave and there will be a series of quick edits focused on your finger pressing buttons and when you open the microwave popcorn will run out everywhere.
    Mostly I’m just glad Bea is fine. Whatever else happens you need that kitty now.

  7. Ah, life. It has its ways of putting a tripwire on your path just as you think you are getting somewhere you want to be. Mine is “I wanted to retire but my dentist had other plans. $7400 worth of plans for me”. Yikes. I’ll hope that this is the end of Bea’s medical issues (at least for a long time) and wishing you the best for the rest of it. At least, I’m fortunate – I love popcorn and it doesn’t make me sick. Alana ramblinwitham

    • Please get a second opinion! I literally JUST went through that. About the same amount of money. I went to another dentist and he said NONE of the work was necessary.

  8. Or it could be The Intent with Robert de Niro and Anne Hathaway. And you would be totally cool. I hope you have more than just wiggle room and both of you and your cats are okay

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