I’m going to mention something in a moment that I usually don’t talk about. Which is kind of funny since I’ve invited the world into my broken childhood and I talk like a sailor. Randy cringes if I put the word ‘cunt’ in a blog post. Not because it offends him. HAHAHFUCKINGHAHA, His language is more obscene than mine. And that is very nearly true.
It makes him cringe and then he says: Michelle, there are a lot of people who are really offended by ‘cunt’, you’re going to turn people off and lose readers.
Fa la la la. I’ve spent my whole life worrying about what other people think. Not here, though. This is mine.
That being said, one thing I rarely talk about is sex. I am way too uptight to talk about sex. I come from a family where sex was never mentioned. We certainly did not ‘get the talk’ at my house. Everything I learned about sex, I had to learn in the streets. In Dry Ridge,KY.
In order to tell this story, though, I’m going to have to talk about sex.
In May, Amazon streaming added a shit ton of HBO shows. Randy was pumped about this. The Wire. The Sopranos, Deadwood, We were in our favorite series heaven.
We started The Sopranos over and I have to say, I like even more the second time around.
There was a scene with Tony and Carmella and Uncle Jun and his girlfriend that stuck with me. This is where I have to talk about sex.
Here we go.
So, you guys know how there’s this orally performed sex act, right? Well, apparently, Uncle Jun was really good at it.
He was in Boca with his girlfriend. She was the typical big busted, simple secretary who worked in an office with shiny wood paneled walls. Jun was hiding out in Florida and he took her with him. They were talking about that one sex act I mentioned and she said how good he was. Jun cautioned her, don’t tell anyone. The guys think if you go down on a woman, then that means you are a fag.
Aside: I really REALLY struggled with using the word fag. I have a lot more of a problem using the word ‘fag’ than ‘cunt’. However, this is what they said on The Sopranos, so I’m going to leave it.
She promised she wouldn’t say anything. Then at her hairdresser’s, her stylist brings it up as it must have been something they discussed in the past. She asked her not to say anything….but you know how that shit goes.
Carmella went to the same stylist. That night, Uncle Jun was having dinner at Tony and Carmella’s Carmella makes a few cryptic remarks and laughs about them. After dinner, when Tony and Carmella are in bed, Tony asks what she meant by those remarks. She makes Tony promise to not tell and then tells him that apparently, Uncle Jun is a virtuoso at that one sex thing that I talked about a few minutes ago. This was a joke to Carmella. Not for a moment did she consider collateral damage.
The next day, while golfing at a country club, Tony starts singing about going down to Mexico and asks Uncle Jun if he smells tuna. We all know that Tony would never concern himself with collateral damage.
Jun figures it out and it culminates with the poor girlfriend, who really seemed to care about Jun, getting dumped and having a cream pie smashed in her face.
The disparity between Tony and Carmella’s life and Jun’s girlfriend’s life is glaringly apparent. Tony and Carmella used a secret to fuck with Uncle Jun, probably without thinking ONCE about the poor girlfriend who would face Jun’s wrath.
I know this is a show, but it still made me think. How often do we needle someone in a way that seems innocuous to us without considering the impact it could have? Who are we hurting when we pass along information that is really not our business to pass along?
Do I pay attention to my words?
Do I consider when I open my mouth what the impact could be on other people?
I think I do.
I decided that it was time for me to be cognizant of what I say and maybe learn to keep my mouth shut when it should stay shut. I don’t want to be Carmella Soprano.
I mean, I guess an argument could be made that the girlfriend was better off without Jun. Any time there is a relationship where one person is willing to physically harm another person, even with just a pie, then you are better off running in the other direction.
Or should I ignore that justification and continue down the path of trying to be more considerate of others? Should I continue to consider how far my words reach when I spray them?
I’m not setting myself up for perfection here, I don’t think there has ever been a time in my life where my goal was perfection. But could I be better? I’m sure I could.
It’s like Thumper’s mother says: If you can’t say anything nice, shut your fucking cake hole.