Don’t be rude.
I mean I have things on my chest that I want to get off my chest.
Why do we say that? I have things I want to get off my chest? Aren’t they really things we want to get out of our brains?
I struggled with writing about this first thing, because the last thing I want to do is give a troll a voice. I’m relatively sure that the person will never see this post, but still..giving him a voice at all seems like a bad idea. On the other hand, fuck that guy.
I had, a while ago, posted a picture of my baby boy on twitter. Some douche twizzle recently commented on it. He said that he wanted to take bets on whether my son would be a suicide or shoot up a school. Then followed that up with ‘And no getting pissy about my very funny tweet. You put the picture out there and you deserve it’.
Because suicide and school shootings are fucking hilarious. It angered me that this fucking piece of shit got to me. My son is a wonderful kid, he has a tremendous sense of self and is one of my favorite humans in the history of all humankind. And then this broken stranger comes along and says the most vile things about him.
I felt terrible that I even shared his picture. I loathe the other humans some times.
Speaking of suicide, let’s move on to the second thing.
I read a comment on Facebook that pretty much floored me. Someone had posted a general question about dealing with people who contact her on her blog telling her that they are suicidal.
One of her friends responded in a way that distressed the hell out of me. I found her comment to be wrong and damaging from about every angle possible.
I am paraphrasing here, but basically what she said was she wanted to ‘challenge’ people who are feeling suicidal to volunteer at a children’s cancer ward and see what it’s like to watch parents face the potential loss of their children and then see if they couldn’t find some reason to live. The tone of her comment wasn’t compassionate in any way. It was an admonishment.
She wants to ‘challenge’ a depressed person? I have lived with depression for as long as I can remember. I am grateful that I’ve never had to deal with suicidal thoughts, at least there is that, but depression without thoughts of suicide is difficult enough. It’s a goddamn ‘challenge’ to get out of bed or to wear clean clothes or to eat, much less do all those things and then go volunteer somewhere.
Then there is the idea that taking someone who is so goddamn depressed that they are suicidal and suggesting they go immerse themselves in a terribly sad situation. I can’t speak for anyone else, but when I’m dealing with a depression episode and feeling like I’m breathing molasses while being crushed by feathers, I doubt that dealing with terminally ill children would shake me out of depression.
And last, but far from least, parents and their critically ill children probably need help from volunteers who aren’t suicidal. I would think that people who are dealing with suicidal thoughts wouldn’t be effective in that situation.
I just found her comment so ignorant and cruel. I know when I’m depressed, I would give anything to not feel that way and I can’t even fathom the pain that people contemplating suicide must be in.
Personally, my belief is that unless you are professionally trained, the best course of action would be to urge them to get help. I would start with giving them the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. 1-800-273-8255. Also, some compassion would be nice.
Okay, I got those two things off my chest. I will try getting back to being funny the next time.
And for any of you who deal with depression, I wish you peace. Depression lies.
People can be really, really stupid and the internet makes them stupider. That is all.
I know. I shouldn’t be surprised…but I often am anyway.
Even thinking about children in a cancer ward makes me want to curl up and cry and ask a god I don’t believe in what’s it all really about.
People still think depression is about being sad, and that you can just shake yourself out of it — and think you’re being lazy when you just can’t get out of bed.
It took all the strength and willpower I have to get up and go to work this morning. What is just a normal activity for someone else is like training for a marathon for me.
As for the first thing on your chest — whoever said that deserves whatever bile you want to spit at him. It’s comments like that that ostracize people. What an asshat.
I know..and that is so frustrating. If people could just ‘shake off’ being depressed, then no one would be depressed. Who would CHOOSE to feel that way?
“What is just a normal activity for someone else is like training for a marathon for me.” – you summed it up perfectly. The goalposts move. Drastically. And it’s impossible and unreasonable to apply ‘normal’ expectations in that situation.
first off a big fuck off to the broken troll. not cool. not at all.
the depression… yea, no not cool either. the lack of compassion for the shit people go through always amazes me. man people can be such assholes.
Right? I have to believe a lot of the time they just aren’t thinking and aren’t horribly cruel..(not the case with the fuck wad on twitter)..
The guy with his NOT funny comments is one of those people I suspect were actually intended to be a blow job.
Getting out of bed each day and fighting depression is a choice, but having depression is no more a choice than having diabetes is. Someday, people might start to really understand this.
HAHAHHA..that made me snort. Errr..the blow job comment, not the one about depression.
And yes, it would be nice if people understood more about depression.
It’s the only theory I’ve ever come up with that explains why some people even exist.
I’ve always believed in the “be nice to everyone” mantra, and I still find myself so shocked when someone is out and out hateful and mean. I guess I should actually believe what I tell my kids, that those mean assholes are truly unhappy people and I guess (?) want everyone else to suffer in their misery.
I hear you. I am often shocked by what people are willing to say..especially when they can hide behind a mask. I know there are times when I’ve said or done things that were cruel. I’m not perfect. But I do try very hard to be nice to everyone.
I totally get where you’re coming from with this post, both the issues themselves and the frustrations. I’m glad you had your say.
When I had a troll comment on my blog, I had a long discussion with many friends on my FB page as to what to do about it (without saying what the comment was). Months later I finally decided that I had a need to address it so I posted it and answered. That person will never see it, but I felt better.
Hope you feel better having had your say concerning these two ignorant and insensitive comments.
I DO feel better. I really did struggle with the first one because I couldn’t help but feel it was MY fault…I shouldn’t have posted a picture of my son who is gorgeous and wonderful. But I didn’t do this. That poor broken boy did. I want to feel sorry for him, because I can’t imagine that he’s mentally healthy if he’s willing to say such vile things..but I don’t. I pretty much just want to spit on him.
Assholes abound!!
A two word truth, right there…
People are just stupid. That dude on Twitter is just a troll with a shitty life and thinks comments like that are going to make him feel better about himself.
The other person is just ignorant. Ignorant of what depression really is or how it affects people.
Both people are examples of why I’m slowly turning into a misanthrope.
I did respond to the woman on FB..not in a mean way..just basically (condensed version) of what I wrote here. I don’t know that it will mean anything or shift her thinking, but I was glad I said something.
It’s important to remember that some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
(That said, I pretty sure you’d never be convicted by a jury of your peers should you decide to relieve society of either of these people.)
Keep your pecker up.
hahah. Well..the first one? I just blocked him. The second one? She might be a perfectly lovely person who just needs to educate herself a little. Ignorance can cause a lot of pain.
P.S. There’s still a spot or two left in my garden, if you need it.
HAHAHAH…I will keep that in mind..it’s gonna have to be worse than these, though. Well..maybe not that first one. That did piss me off. The mama bear is ferocious.
Hey mamacita — I went off my meds (inadvertently) for two days and that gave me enough compassion to cure global warming. Barbara, love “Keep your pecker up.” will be stealing that.
Yeah…keep your pecker up. I can’t imagine how shocked people at work would be to hear me say that.
FINE..they wouldn’t be shocked at all.
Wouldn’t it be great if every time a depressed person got up against all odds, that a troll died in NeverReturnLand?
THAT would be awesome!!
Both situations: completely fucked-up.
Depression and suicide are such personal, internalized things and I bet this person is playing on the “suicide is selfish” mindset. Sick.
As far as your son, share whatever you want. Mine knows I shared his story and his pictures; I wonder if I had shared the pictures first if people would have labeled him the same way? Did he “look” suicidal, or like an “outcast”?
Which of course is the whole problem with society anyway…assumptions based on anything and everything.
They are fucked up…and thank you. 🙂
I’m always amazed at how insensitive and rude people can be and that’s out in the ‘real world’. Add social media and our constant connection and the ignorance knows no bounds. Trolls suck it. I can’t believe someone would make such comments on a lovely picture you’ve posted. It makes us all want to crawl back into our shells and never be vulnerable. Good idea to share the suicide hot line. Sadness, pain doesn’t deserve judgment. Now, you’ve got me all worked up, Michelle 🙂
I have been guilty of speaking out on a subject and then having to face my own ignorance later…it happens..but it doesn’t make it any easier when you’re faced with it. and as far as the troll goes..you’re right..he can suck it.
I love humanity. It’s humans I can’t stand.
Okay, some of them. Especially the trolls who think it’s funny to joke about suicide and school shootings, because it amuses them to inflict pain on others.
Oh, and those who think it’s a great plan to send a suicidal person into a situation that is 99.9% guaranteed to depress them even further, possibly pushing them over the edge from “suicidal” to “dead.” What is that supposed to be, some kind of twisted psychological Darwinism?
Bah. Stupidity sucks.
I know! It’s SO GODDAMN FRUSTRATING!!!
Oh, Michelle, I am so sorry about the troll and about ALL the insensitive things people say about depression. I too have lived with it most of my life and yes, depression lies.
And also?
Also, some people are just f@&ing assholes.
I have a truck parked on my chest these days too – free floating anxiety some call it, I call it ‘my life’. I know I will get through to the other side, I always do.
Don’t feel you have to be funny all the time. These posts are real and important.
Important to me, and others who need to be reminded that depression lies, and trolls are ugly.
Thank you so much! I understand that stupid truck. I have some big changes coming up and my anxiety has been off the goddamn charts. Yesterday, I didn’t think I was going to be able to reign it in..but I did. I’m overwhelmed because it’s not going to get better for a while…probably the rest of the year. Here’s to always coming out on the other side! I hate that you have anxiety issues, but it’s nice to not be alone, too. 🙂
I am very fortunate to not suffer from major depression, but it doesn’t take a lot of effort for people to educate themselves about it. The ignorance I run into on at least a weekly basis is just astounding. People think depressed people can “just get over it.” That they need to get out there and “do something”. The “do something” varies, but working in a cancer ward–that takes the cake, wait, no cake ever for that stupidity.
I know, Marie! My mouth was just hanging open when I read it. I have a low running depression that I’ve lived with for most of my life..it spikes sometimes, but never to the point of considering suicide. Mostly, I don’t think people even know because, unless it’s really bad, I seem just fine. And when it IS bad, I usually hear that I look tired or that I’m being really quiet. I don’t really talk to people (other than Randy) too much about it because I don’t want to hear their advice. Because it’s probably going to make me feel worse.
I am sure you know this but I will say it anyway. Many people – when hit with a sleazy-ass comment like the one about your son, immediately RT and let the internet handle it. Backlash for that kind of assholeness is pretty nasty – and people who say things like that deserve everything they get. Is it giving a troll attention? Maybe . . . but I like to think that at least some of the repercussions hit home.
On the other – it happens every time. A lot of people just don’t get the difference between “depression” and “depressed”. I am depressed because my team lost last night – that is a long way from the depression that threatens to destroy so many lives. Some people are ignorant in more ways than one. Way too many, in fact.
I know. But I didn’t. I made one reply and then blocked him. He called me a cunt and a twat. amazing. The reason I didn’t retweet it is because I didn’t want my son exposed any more than he already was just by me posting his picture. I felt terrible about it.
Understood. Sounds like a real sweetheart. Can you at least give us his Twitter handle so we can all go beat him up for you? We don’t even have to tell him why – he probably has multiple offenses.
I’ll send you an email.
Can you link us to this idiotface guy’s tweet so we can name, shame, blame, and defame him please? Making jokes about school shootings is NOT funny, especially when you’re doing it directed at someone else’s kid. Holy shit, what an asshole.
I know, Justin..it’s breathtaking. But I don’t want to draw anymore attention to it for protective and selfish reasons. I feel like I exposed Joey to ugliness just by posting his image. I would rather it just wither away and be forgotten than to draw attention to it.
Trust me, part of me feels that I am wrong. That who I am is someone to wants to fight for what I believe is right..and I do. But when it comes to my kid? It’s not as easy.
It’s so easy to say the wrong thing to a person who suffers depression.
After reading a few “what NOT to say” statements, I realized I shouldn’t remind my Mom how much better her life is than some of her fellow residents in a senior lodge.
Then she begins to feel guilty that she doesn’t feel more grateful. Sigh.
I have more than one beloved family member who suffers from depression, and I appreciate learning what to say and what not to say. Sometimes just really listening is the best.
As far as trolls: I see so many people falling right into their trap – replying to them.
(Easier said than done when it involves our children) Bastages.
I make the mistake of reading an online article, and I can’t stop there….I have to continue to read the comments, and then I get so pissed off at myself for wasting time trying to sift through them. Thank gawd the comments on this blog all make sense. 😉
I love this! I love it so much. You’re right..sometimes the best thing you can do is listen. No judging..no telling people how they ‘should’ feel..just be there with them.
And fuck the trolls. Assholes. I do the same thing. I read the comments all the while telling myself…DON’T READ THE FUCKING COMMENTS
HAHAHA! Geez, you’d think we’d learn.
I’m going to stop reading comments like that
right now!
This second!
Immediately!
Not here, though.
I am fortunate…I have had only a couple shitty comments since I started blogging.
Thank you for posting this… I couldn’t agree more with everything you wrote.
Months after my brother died by suicide I had a friend tell me in lesser words to “snap out of it.” I’ve suffered from depression as long as I can possibly remember and then to lose my brother to his own depression was just more than I could take and to tell the truth I just didn’t want to be here anymore.
We had a mutual friend who was undergoing chemo in an effort to fight of his stage 4 lung cancer and she kept telling me, “If only you were here to see how hard he’s struggling and fighting to live it might make you think differently about being so sad.” Not to diminish his fight or his will to survive, but how are those the same?? And how is seeing someone else try so hard to live going to take away the pain of knowing I couldn’t save my only sibling from killing themselves, exactly?
Eh… so many thoughts come to mind but that would take waaaay too long. Just… thank you for posting this. 🙂
I’ve read many of your posts and I think what you are doing, writing about your feelings and the loss of your brother to suicide is wonderful. It helps people really understand what it’s like to struggle with depression. I know I’ve said it before, but I am so very sorry for your loss. And I appreciate how you raise awareness. I wish you nothing but peace, sister.
Thanks for reading my blog, I appreciate it! I absolutely ADORE your posts and think you are HILARIOUS. Peace to you as well! 🙂
Oh, my dear. I am so sorry to hear about such a troll. I mentally just punched him in the face for you. I’m usually fine with whatever anyone wants to say about *me*…but mess with my kids, and it’s game on.
I’m in a bit of a total funk myself, and I don’t feel funny at all lately, so I hear you. It’s fine to be not funny. Life’s not funny most days, anyway. My procrastinating post is more about me sitting and doing not-a-damn-thing all day than anything actually humorous. I probably couldn’t tell you a funny story today if my life depended on it.
But I did giggle at the getting things off our chest thing, because it made me remember a Larry and Balki scene from Perfect Strangers (wayyy back in the 80s), where Balki yells, “Not till I get a few things OFF MY NECK”. heh
HAHHAH..I remember that! Get off my neck…
I loved your procrastination post. It was the first thing I read this morning!
Aww, thanks. I kind of *didn’t* like that post, but I literally wrote it WHILE I was procrastinating, trying to get out the door yesterday, so it contributed to my problem.
You know those posts, that feel like: “Eh. This is not a post. Why am I even writing this? This isn’t funny or thoughtful or even that interesting.” Then I hit Publish anyway, because it’s my blog, so why not, right?
And I’m still so mad about that troll. I’m glad you blocked him!!!
Ah yes, the old “depressed people are just feeling sorry for themselves” trope. I want to tell these people how fortunate they are to not understand how depression really feels, but I kind of don’t want to be nice to them in any way for saying such cruel things.
As for the troll…hey, I won’t even use my own name on my blog, let alone my loved ones’ names or pictures. I’m hypersensitive to trollism. But I recognize that what they say is false and hollow, and I hope you do, too (even though it still hurts like hell).
*hugs*
Well, I know what he said was bullshit. I do. It’s just kind of breathtaking to read it.
And yes, it’s hard to be nice and try to explain the flawed logic that people have when it comes to depression. And you’re right, they are lucky if they don’t have to deal with it. Hugs right back! 🙂
Oh, my. So many HATERS out there! It’s just sickening. Hugs to your boy… and to you, for defending him the best you can against such creeps and for sharing the suicide prevention line.
Thank you! It makes me feel sad that there are so many broken people out there.
Re the ass that posted the vile things about your son, he, like many others out there with no conscience are what is wrong with this planet.
As to the comments re suicide, I find myself wishing to shake the person who responded so insensitively, warmly by the neck.
Unfortunately, people who have never experienced severe depression have absolutely no idea what it is like and have zero understanding of it. So many people still seem to think it’s just something you can shake off if you try and should just pull yourself together!
I wouldn’t wish it on anyone but sometimes I do wish people could experience what it’s like in my head, just for 5 minutes when the demons are at their worst. They might have more of a clue then.
I get exactly what you are saying! I wouldn’t wish it on anyone..but maybe..I would for a short period of time..then they would educate themselves and stop being hurtful assholes.
And yeah, that troll..it was completely unprovoked..not necessary at all..it was designed to be cruel and then he tried to say it was FUNNY? What a fucking loser.
Yep, he just needs an Acme 10 Ton weight to drop on him, Wile E Coyote style
HAHAHA..that made me smile!
I saw that response, about the cancer ward. It sucked, but people are ignorant and sometimes willfully so. Sadly there’s no antidote to that.
Your Twitter troll sucks. I hope that he somehow finds a way to turn into an acceptable human being. I’m glad you realised that it’s him who’s at fault for this, not you.
Good for you for writing this.
And I wonder if we say ‘get things off my chest’ because once they’re out, we breathe more easily.
You know, Lizzi..that makes sense, you do breathe more easily then, don’t you? I hope my post here was a little less rambling than it was on facebook. I reacted without thinking about the words I was typing.
It’s good 🙂
I really admire people who can volunteer in cancer wards, or with terminal children, or even at the library. I’m not much of a volunteer – sometimes it’s all I can do to just get through a day and the thought of trying to help someone else just seems an insurmountable task. Not to mention that I’m all socially awkward and trying to act like a normal person is exhausting for me.
As a mommy who has a wonderful son I love, I empathize with your anger about the douchebag. You know I’m trying to be more Zen these days, so the logical part of my brain says that he is obviously immature, emotionally stunted, and perhaps damaged by a horrible childhood – so we should feel compassion for his limits and love him as a fellow human being. But the emotional side wants to hunt him down and do incredibly painful things to his nether regions.
Exactly!!! I mean, I know who my child and I did tell him about it…he laughed…he found it funny and stupid and dismissed it with ease. But my momma bear is still acting up over it. I’m sure that person is broken…it’s hard for me to feel compassion for him.
I have to remind myself of Malala…who forgives the people who shot her in the head and continues to be a source of inspiration, even though she’s barely older than my baby boy. I want to be more like her when I grow up.
The interwebz is full of assholes. Thanks for getting that off your chest. I get depressed too, and getting out of bed is a struggle, never mind going to a place that would make me even more depressed. You speak all sorts of truths.
love you
J
You know what, Jackie? Thanks for this comment..It made me realize how much I value the people I’ve ‘met’ on the internet. I’ve gained so much and I appreciate these relationships. There are a fuck ton of assholes…but there are some amazing people as well. xo
Yes, there are. Look in the mirror to see one.
I also appreciate that we met, how we met, that we stay in touch, all that. The interwebz can be magical too.
xo
J
I absolutely HATE that someone said those terrible things to you about your son. WTF is wrong with people?!? And the snarky remark about the people suffering from depression? Obviously this person has no effing CLUE what severe depression feels like.
Wow what a piece of shit person to do that to your son’s picture. Unbelievable.
I’m a “failed suicide.” Lucky people who have no comprehension of depression and all that it entails.
I love reading your blogs -even when they’re not funny 😉
I am glad you failed.
And yeah, the person was horrible. I just read something that said ‘the people who need the most love will ask for it in the most unlovable ways’. I’m trying to consider this, but I haven’t been able to drum up any compassion for him.
Depression isn’t a mood. It’s a biochemical malfunction that renders one incapable of responding meaningfully to the sort of perspective being suggested. Among other things. Also, human beings aren’t toys that one casually plays at fixing.
There is good attention and bad attention. Maybe Mr. Troll has some sort of compulsion to seek the latter and not the former, but that doesn’t make him any less of a douche bag.
I know he was just seeking attention. I mean, the way he made his shitty comment and then followed up with a tweet about not being mad and how I deserved it…I hadn’t responded to the first one. I did, though. I did respond and I wish I wouldn’t have. I just said something like ‘if you’re telling me how I should respond before I even respond, then you must know you’re an asshole’. Then he called me a twat. haha. I said something about him living in his mother’s basement and then blocked him. I really do wish I had not given him the supply he was so desperately looking for. But…card laid is a card played, right?
And you are so right…depression is not a mood…I don’t think a lot of people understand that.
Ugh, the suicide thing just bothers me. I have fought severe depression and with suicidal thoughts for my entire life. To someone who has never experienced it I can see how they might think it makes sense to give this advice. The problem is that the sufferer is internally ripping themselves apart (I can’t think of a better way to describe it). Yes going and seeing how somebody might have it worse will cause an affect, but not what they might think. It is going to push you closer to suicide as you realize your detachment to anything else that might or should matter to anyone who has a normal thought process or the capability of empathy for anything/anyone else. If anything this would make me shut down more than it would ever help. As far as the troll goes, so very troubling. I have not had to deal with this kind of thing ever personally but I am sure it would piss me off to no end. I would like to think that I would just scroll passed it. Hopefully I never have to find out.
I hope you never have to find out, either. I guess I should consider myself lucky as I’ve only had a few incidents over social media that were negative, but this one involved my kid and I admit that I let it bother me. I’m feeling better about it now..or at least less angry. That might be a better way to put it.
I’m sorry you’ve dealt with such severe depression. It’s just such a shit thing to live with. I feel frustrated when I see people post ‘helpful’ suggestions that are anything but…they can be damaging. Here’s to hoping you are living with some peace right now and that your next episode is a long way away and when and if it gets here, it’s short lived.
I haven’t had an episode in many years now. Very much at peace with a great support system and tools that do not involve any medications, which is good for me. I could never quite get used to taking meds and they just seemed to make things worse when I missed/stopped taking them. I still have periods of downtime, but through writing and the awesome family that I have, I get through them without letting it take over. I love peace 🙂
That makes my heart feel good!!! Yay for peace!!!!
I had a conversation about suicide while I was wedding dress shopping with my sister in laws (of course, because what else would you discuss). One of them was of the same mentality– that it’s this selfish thing, and people are dumb to think that they have to die to get past some tiny problem, etc. etc. I can actually remember feeling something similar– like wondering how people aren’t capable of realizing there’s another side, etc. That their problems aren’t going to consume them forever, blah blah. But these aren’t just thoughts– it’s a mental illness, it’s a symptom of something that’s gone wrong in someone’s brain, just like any other illness. And for many people the urge to harm themselves is as strong as persistent as my urge to eat chocolate– not to make light of it, but that’s the best way I could think of describing it to them. “Imagine you are on a diet. Remember how often you want to eat pizza? That’s how suicidal people feel about taking their lives.” How on earth can people be so devoid of compassion? These are just conversations that will need to happen over and over until people get it.
I think it boils down to that…having compassion. And if you don’t understand something, then you need to educate yourself before offering solutions..it’s a complicated and devastating state of mind. I know I had misconceptions about it as well and I still don’t understand what it’s like to feel like harming myself. (a few very short lived thoughts aside). Which is why my response will always be to urge them to get help. And to listen without judgement if that is what they need.
Who the hell do these rude ass people think they are? Why would anyone say something about your son? OMG that is just fucking rude and mean! I know what the person talking about a children’s cancer ward was TRYING to say… but apparently was too ignorant to put it correctly into words. But you don’t put a suicidal person in a death situation and expect them to see the hope. “give them something to live for” “let them see things can always worse” – I am not suicidal but I did quit nursing after having to pull a clinical in such a cancer ward. I couldn’t deal with it… and i was not depressed. I cant imagine a suicidal person facing the same thing. Dumbass.
Right? I was so distressed when I saw that tweet! But I’ve processed it and moved on…writing about it helps. 🙂
I would like to say that woman had good intentions..but the tone didn’t seem that way to me, it seemed like a criticism and was completely devoid of compassion.
Michelle,
I am so sad your son was talked about like that. What is this world coming to?
I have had the suicidal thoughts while pregnant and nothing can right that wrong but yourself. Maybe seeing sick kids would flip the switch, but maybe a good cry, nap and a kiss from my kid would help. It was so random and until they medicated me, so scary (although, I don’t think it was scary at the time because I was unaware what was happening).
#DepressionLies
#KeepYourPeckerUp
I had a doctor prescribe antidepressants for me for my insomnia. It didn’t help and they made me feel terrible..and when I went off them I went through horrific withdrawal. I was 40 when that happened and I understood it was the medicine..if I had been 20 it might have had a different outcome. I felt like I was already dead, it went beyond numb..I felt nothing except despondency. It took a while to get past that. I still have bouts of depression, but nothing like that. I didn’t want to harm myself…but I really understood why people sometimes feel that way.
Just wow. Is it possible to report the first one? What a douche.
As for the second.. it has been my experience that people with “get over it” beliefs about depression tend to have their own underlying problems they are trying to deflect attention from. Not always, but often. Sometimes they just don’t get it because they have never suffered like that.
But I’m sure you know that.
Put on your happy playlist and get some awesome tea. Then forget the world for a bit…
Depression a lying whore.
it IS a lying whore!!
I just blocked the guy..there are so many out there like that..horribly broken humans. And yes, I suspect the people who are dismissive or hostile when it comes to depression are fighting their own battles.
I’m sorry you crossed paths with that troll. I know that the best thing to do is to ignore them, but when someone says something so vile about your child, that’s just about impossible to do. Just another sick fuck on the internet, and I think you were smart to block him. Please try not to feel too bad about having posted a picture of your son. It SHOULD be a perfectly fine thing to do–and people do it all the time, ’cause we’re proud of our kids and like to show them off. You didn’t do anything wrong–the troll did.
Regarding the Facebook post about how to “help” a suicidal person…well, I’d just be preaching to the choir and repeating what others have already said if I commented on that. It’s so disheartening that there are so many people out there who don’t understand depression and therefore choose to judge it under the guise of “helpfulness.” I think that there must be a lot of people who have suffered collateral damage from depression, such as adult kids of depressed parents who got robbed of being well loved b/c of their parent’s illness. Depression is awful for the person who is suffering from it, but it is also really hard on those that love them. I’ve struggled with it my whole life and often feel really guilty about not being as present for my kids as I’d like to be. Ya know? Anyway, I’m glad you got these things off of your chest and that it’s made you feel better. And you know you’ve got an army of cyber friends who care about you, right? 🙂
I DO know that..and it feels amazing. I am so grateful for this tribe!
And it is hard for people who love people with depression. I’m sure there are people with resentment and confusion all over the place. It’s good to remember that as well.
I <3 you , lady!
When my depression gets really bad, I can't even read half of my FaceBook feed. I would walk into a pediatric cancer ward and just melt completely away in a storm of anger and tears. I would be absolutely useless, which would then fuel the depression lies further.
People who don't understand depression don't fucking understand it. #depressionlies and sanctimonious, judgy people should keep their mouths shut about things they don't know (or most things, really).
Also, telling someone they shouldn't be sad because others have it worse is exactly the same as telling someone she shouldn't be happy because someone else has it better. It just makes no sense. (And also doesn't remotely apply to clinical depression, but it's easier for people to understand).
You know..that’s brilliant. The ‘telling people they shouldn’t be happy because other people have it better’. What a good way to describe how stupid it is to tell people they shouldn’t be upset because other people have it worse.
And I <3 you too!!
Ok what to say first I guess I should say Hi I am Jo-Anne this is my first visit and since I have signed up to get your post via email you can bet I will be back………………just saying.
Next I want to say suicide is not is a laughing matter neither is shooting up a school, and there are some bloody idiots in the world that really piss this kind lady off, yes I am kind ask anyone who doesn’t know me very well…………………just don’t ask my family they may tell you the truth.
Hi Jo-Anne!!! So nice to see you. And I couldn’t agree more. I appreciate kind..I also appreciate genuine. 🙂 Thanks for reading!
People who aren’t depressed, and have never been depressed, simply don’t get it. And, try as they might (or mightn’t), they have little sympathy. They think people LIKE being depressed, like a pig wallowing, or something. They think people commit suicide because…well, I don’t really know why. But they have NO sympathy for that, think it’s weak, think it’s deliberate punishment to those left behind, etc.
And I’ll never understand why somebody would think making a comment like that about your son is funny or appropriate, and I’m sorry.
THank you, Jen…
Yes, I do think they see it as weakness…but the truth is, people who deal with anxiety and/or depression are some strong ass motherfuckers. If you took someone who never dealt with it and then dumped it on them, they’d be a quivering mass of jelly. People who deal with this shit and still manage to make it through the day and be somewhat productive are the opposite of weak.
As you can tell I am terribly far behind but I read this today and am still sitting here with my mouth hanging open. I do not and probably will never understand the idiocy and lack of compassion some people show.
I cannot even imagine how I would react if someone had the balls to speak negatively about one of my kids. I would probably fork out the $$ to have them hunted down. And then to say those things in this day and age when school shootings and youth suicide happen far too often? And call it a joke?
I’m glad you took the time to get this out of your head. You are such a huge support for those who fight depression and one incredible mama bear.
Right? I was so frustrated and angry. And thank you..that means a lot to me. I want to support people.
People are stupid. And the stupid people tend to be the ones that talk the most. Basically what you just described here are two types of stupid assholes. The stupid asshole who gets his rocks off on being mean. And the stupid asshole who is just completely ignorant. Both lack empathy. Both need to be slapped silly.
Get ’em, gurl!!! You said it all when you said “ignorant” because that’s exactly what people are who make these idiot comments. It’s infuriating and I totally understand why you were so annoyed. UGH. People can be so short-sighted and obtuse.
OMG I am so angry on your behalf and cannot believe some of the humans out there. To comment like that on a photo on Twitter and then try to blame you for putting it out there? Argh!!!! And the FB thing. People are so disappointing sometimes. Maybe she meant well but yeah, really not helpful. Not even a little bit. Visiting from Sandy’s site and glad I found your blog!
Every once in a while you gotta take a break from the funny when something REALLY needs to be said, and this did. All of it. The stupid are always gonna outnumber the rest until this kind of message gets passed around, so consider this passed in my corner of the world.
Thanks, Eric! Yeah..sometimes, I am not feeling funny at all.
Twitter is a cess pool of idiocy and perversion, so that comment about your son doesn’t surprise me, though it very much disgusts me still. Just say nothing, if you can’t say something productive. I think I get where te second lady was coming from. Schadenfreude is what she was shooting for, but she clearly swung and missed. I think she was maybe just stupid and not mean. You’re right in point with your response though. Well played, ma’am.
Thank you!!!
People are ignorant of what depression is. They think it is something you can control. Like you want to be that way! And having dealt with those horrible thoughts, in that moment all you do is hurt. You are not even able to help yourself, ….
That person who made such disgusting comments on your son well big idiot! Don’t take it to heart…..idiot!