You know the Blind Melon song, No Rain? And the video with the bee girl?

Going to the Erma Bombeck’s Writer’s Conference is like finding my bee group. I feel safe and wanted. The conference pretty much feels like Christmas morning felt like when I was a child. Only without stockings and my dad getting pissed off over something and threatening to give away all of our presents.

Honestly, I probably wouldn’t pay for that conference.

I saw friends that I haven’t seen in 4 years and it was glorious.

My friend, Foxy, disassembles and reassembles creepy ass baby dolls and turns them into art. She gifted me with a necklace from her “Blue Velvet” collection.

I got to perform 3 minutes of stand up at the end of the conference. I wore my ear necklace for good luck. Or something. I mean, it’s amazing. I didn’t really need a reason. 

There were friends I missed. I made new friends and I probably offended a number of people, but I’m not quite ready to talk about that. Let’s just say, I will shuffle off my mortal coil before I ever agree to “save a seat” for another human ever again. Unless they were expelled from my body, currently have access to my bodily cavities, or are the product of either of our offspring. I’ll save a seat for them, but no one else ever. Because damn.

I reconnected with someone and we have agreed to meet once a week. We’re helping each other with our similar difficulties with writing and finding our funny. So, I’m hopeful.

And I got to see Wendy Liebman again.

If you aren’t familiar with Wendy’s comedy, please do yourself a favor and just immerse yourself. She is not only talented, but truly kind and supportive. It has been such a joy knowing her since first performing at Erma in 2016. There were so many things I wanted to say to her, like “sorry you got hit by a car” and “congrats on the new grandbaby”. I felt overwhelmed and there were so many people that I forgot all the things I wanted to say. But you know what she did? She asked about my mom. That meant so very much to me. What a lovely soul she is.

My inspiration was through the roof right from the start of the conference. I would go to a session and a whole world would open up. I went to an Improv session. “I’m doing Improv!!!” and then a podcast session. “I’m doing a podcast!!!”. I had lunch. “I’m going to be a sandwich maker!!!”.

Also, I had an epiphany.

I think it was the second day of the conference. A Friday.

I walked down a corridor at the university of Dayton and tried to figure out which room I was going to next. I didn’t have readers with me, so every session was an adventure. As I was walking down this hallway along a bank of windows, I realized something.

I’m not writing a book.

I’ve been pretty sure I was going to write a book for at least the past 50 years. You know, when the time is right. I’d get around to it. You betcha.

But I’m not. I’m not writing a book.

That does not mean I’m not going to write. I kind of have to. But I’m not writing a book. I am unbound by that. I don’t have to fret over a book anymore. I can let it go.

I don’t think the point of a writer’s workshop is to give up on your dreams.

Except, I didn’t give up on my dreams, I shifted them. I don’t have to write a book to write.

Also, this is going to be a great story to tell after I publish a book.